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How to Intrigue Women... or How Not to Be Just as Boring as the Last 3 Guys She Dumped

by Allen Thompson

One of the keys to attracting and keeping a woman is to intrigue her; that is, to tap into her cute little brain and get her thinking about, wondering about, and maybe even daydreaming about... YOU.

And one of the simplest and most effective ways to do this is to vary your presentation. In other words, vary how you present yourself so that she never quite knows what to expect.

She can and probably will have a general idea of what to expect, or even be pretty certain of what to expect... but she should never know exactly, for a fact, what to expect.

You should weld it into your mind, with a blowtorch, that women (at least young, childless women) are drawn towards unpredictability in men. They love not knowing exactly what’s going to happen from moment to moment. They love not knowing exactly what you’ll do or say next. They love surprises, and they love the excitement (and sometimes even the anxiety) generated by the unknown.

In a woman’s mind, a predictable man is a dull man, a boring man, a passionless man, and, at best, a FRIEND.

"Heck" she thinks, "if I want to be bored, I can sit home alone and watch TV... or read a book... or surf the net. No, I want a man who adds excitement to my hum-drum life."

Remember, a woman would rather be just about anything (even mad, sad, or anxious) than bored.

So what you want to do, what you need to do, is vary your personality, just a little, every once in a while, in order to keep her intrigued, to keep her wondering, to keep her thinking about and trying to figure out... you.

Yes, of course, you have and should have a "base" persona that you like, that you’re proud of, and that you enjoy "being." You shouldn’t be trying to become a completely different person every time you see her. She’ll just think you’re a nut.

Just vary certain things... a little bit... every once in a while. And you’ll keep her interested.

In this particular article we’re talking about varying your presentation, which is perhaps the easiest way to add this much coveted aura of unpredictability and intrigue to your persona.

How do you look... usually?

How do you dress... usually?

How do you smell... usually?

How you look, dress, and smell are aspects of your presentation and thus aspects of your personality. And they’re also aspects that are easy to manipulate, easy to change, easy to vary.

We’re not saying that you NEED to change these things -- you may already have the finest clothes, the most expensive haircut, and the coolest cologne money can buy. We’re just saying that, if you want to be the man of her dreams, you need to mix things up a bit, so you don’t fall into the predictability trap.

So how do you dress? Whether you wear Armani suits or tee-shirts and jeans doesn’t really matter... as long as you don’t wear them all the time. You can have a "look" that you like. And that’s fine. But your lady should never be able to predict what you’ll "always be wearing."

You should make sure she sees you in a large variety of outfits. Sometimes you have on a really nice suit and you’re dressed to kill. Sometimes jeans and a tee-shirt. Sometimes khakis with a collared shirt. And sometimes sweatpants and a old flannel shirt.

Sometimes you’ve got on the nicest dress shoes, and sometimes old, disgusting tennis shoes. Sometimes your clothes are normal, you fit in, and don’t attract much attention. And sometimes you deliberately stand out, with bright colors and flashy designs. Sometimes boxers, sometimes briefs, sometimes boxer-briefs, and sometimes none of the above (hey).

The point is that she should never be able to DEFINITELY predict what you will be wearing. You may dress the same most of the time, and hopefully you dress very well, but frequently you look completely different, maybe even bad... maybe even embarrassingly bad.

Variety. Remember, it’s the spice of life.

How bout the way you smell. Do you wear the same cologne all the time? Even if it’s her favorite cologne, and all she ever does is tell you how good you smell and rub up against you, don’t fall into the trap of wearing the same cologne all the time.

Remember variety.

I mean, even if pizza is your lady’s most favoritest food in the whole world, do you really think she wants to eat it 3 times a day, every day?

I don’t think so.

What I personally like to do is rotate about 5 different colognes, at about 2 dates (or get togethers) each. The first couple times you see her, you might wear Eternity. The next couple times you might wear Drakkar. The next couple Cool Water. Then Romance. Etc.

After you’ve gone through 5 colognes or so, then you can start back over again, or vary them (maybe Eternity one date, Romance the next 3 dates, then Drakkar for one date, then whatever). Remember variety. She’ll never know exactly how you’ll be smelling... and she’ll love it.

Another side benefit of varying your cologne - since smells, emotions, and memories are interrelated and processed in a similar area of the brain, every time in the future she smells one of the 5 or so that you rotate, she’ll start thinking about you, remembering you, and wondering what you’re doing.

And you do want to be the man she can never forget, right?

Of course, you should apply this "variety" principle to every other facet of your presentation. For example, do you wear contacts? You should let her see you with your glasses on. How bout colored contacts to change the color of your eyes, just once in a while?

Are you always clean-shaven? Then you should occasionally go a few days without shaving... and make sure she sees you. And this is an especially good tip for those "nice guys" who may occasionally come off as being a little weak. That 3-day stubble can make you look a little more "manly" and strong. But just once in a while, because most women prefer a guy who’s clean-shaven with baby-soft skin.

How’s your hair? Do you keep it looking exactly the same all the time? Try varying it a little. Let her see you with your hair "out of place" for once. Or maybe try a new style. How bout going "blond" for a couple weeks? Or letting your hair get a little too long before heading to the barber, so that you actually look different when he’s through with you.

You get the idea.

Varying your presentation is easy. And it’s an easy way to keep her interested.

Remember, the more variety you can incorporate into your personality, the more interesting you’ll seem, the more exciting you’ll seem, and the more she’ll want to be with you.

Of course, you should be varying other aspects of your personality as well. Especially important is how you choose to spend your time -- in other words the things you like to DO.

But that’s the subject of a future article.

Allen Thompson
djnewslet@sosuave.com
Copyright © 2001

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