How to Bring Girls Home From Bars and Clubs
If you go to a popular bar or club on a Friday or Saturday night itís going to be packed full of 18-35 year old women. Most of them will be single, many will be good-looking, and they will be in all states of drunkenness.
Even better, a decent percentage of these girls will be open to going home with you if you know what you are doing!
So... thatís what Iím going to teach you.
Here are 5 big things you can do to be more successful with bringing home women from bars and clubs...
1) Donít Put Out a Needy Vibe
If you want to get better at meeting women at bars/clubs itís important to enjoy going out, without worrying about trying to bring somebody home. Obviously thatís a major objective of yours, or you wouldnít be reading this article. But, in order to reach this goal, you need to back off it for a minute and get your understanding straight.
So many guys focus all their energy on picking up women when they go out, that they forget to have a good time. They think that they NEED to put all this effort into picking up women, and this is pretty much the definition of being a desperate dude.
Look, every guy wants to sleep with attractive women. Every guy would like to be able to bring home ladies he meets at bars. But not all guys are NEEDY for it. Women can sense if youíre needy for sex/female validation, and it skeeves them out.
The guys who attract lots of women arenít needy for them, because they already have them. They have options, so when they do go out they arenít starving for female attention. This is the mind-set you need to develop!
This lack of neediness is what can give you the upper hand with women, because when you arenít needy, you care about the interaction less than the girl does. You can say whatever you want, and not care what any woman thinks of you. This allows you to appear very confident, secure, and authentic.
So donít act needy, donít think of yourself as needy. Go out for purposes other than picking up women. These could include wanting to:
- Spend quality time with friends.
- Hear bands/djs/music you like.
- Have a few drinks and get a buzz going.
- Get dinner/happy hour/bar food you enjoy.
- Just get out of the house for a couple hours, and see a new environment.
Yes you will see hot women around you, but donít sweat them, just enjoy the moment. This will let them notice you and the non-needy vibe you are putting out. Iíll explain how to meet them without sweating them in a sec.
2) Look Sharp
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of dressing well, and having your look together. In a bar/club environment, women will flirt with you if you are looking good... they will.
Guys who talk about, "women donít approach men in clubs", obviously arenít looking good when they go out. They might think they are, but their poor results speak for themselves.
You wonít believe how much female attention you will get just by tweaking your look a little. This doesnít mean dressing up like some clown pick-up artist, wearing fedoras and goggles... And you donít need classical "good-looks" by any stretch of the imagination. You just gotta have a fresh style, be well groomed, and sort out any body-language issues you may have.
3) Go Out With Guys Who Are Good With Women
Itís fine to go hangout with all kinds of people. I hang out with old people, young people, women, married guys, guys who suck with women, etc... All kinds of people, itís important to diversify.
However, when you are actively trying to pick-up women out at 21+ establishments it pays to go with a buddy or two who will help you in your quest.
Women almost always go out in groups or 2, 3 or 4. So you should go out with at least one friend if not 2 or 3. More than that and the dynamics get complicated.
You want these to be guys you like, and can have fun with. Talk to your buddies, have fun, make jokes, check out all the sexy women. Keep a positive vibe going. Then when you see some girls you like, approach them together and help each other out. Buddies can help you in a variety of ways...
- They make you look cool, because you have cool friends.
- They help you get a good vibe going and keep it going.
- They can talk to the other girls so they donít cock-block you.
- They give you somebody else to talk to. Instead of just talking back and forth with the girl, ignore her for a minute and just talk to your boy, let her watch you and see you interact with others.
- They can assist with bringing the girls back home.
A lot of times girls will be more open to leaving the bar/club if itís you, your boy, her and her girl, instead of just you and her. They feel safer, because itís not like you are just going home to hook-up right away. You are going home to party more, have more drinks as a group, all go in the hot-tub together or whatever.
If you donít know any guys who are good with women, donít despair. You can go out with other guys so long as they donít sabotage your efforts. They can help you just to a lesser degree.
You should also consider being more social in general so you can make friends with more guys who are good with women. Hangout with people you usually donít, guys from work, school, friends of friends, etc... Some people are better at making friends than others, but just like getter better with women learning to make friends is a learnable skill.
4) Donít Do "Cold Approaches", Or Use PUA Routines
So called "PUAS" (pick-up artists) recommend all sorts of special tactics for picking up girls at bars and clubs, and most of these methods are pure bull-crap developed out of despair. Donít believe the hype!
These methods are PROOF that their creators donít have a clue about women or how attraction works.
Sure some of these methods work... some of the time. But they are NOT necessary, they mostly just confuse guys, and cause way more harm than good. If youíve been incorporating any of these PUA techniques into your "game", drop them ASAP. Theyíre part of the problem.
Instead, say something original like...
- "Hey... how are you doing?"
- "Do you mind if we join you?"
- "Where do I know you from?"
Itís not about the specific words you use. Any woman who is being honest will back me up on this, Itís about who you are, who she perceives you to be.
Also, donít just approach any and every woman that you wouldnít mind having a roll in the hay with. This goes back to #1 not putting out a needy vibe. I particularly recommend only approaching women that are giving you some type of "GO" sign.
This can range from, looking at you, looking at you repeatedly, looking at you and smiling, looking and smiling repeatedly, brushing against you, or talking to you. If a woman does any of these things to you when you are out at a bar/club, go for it. Walking up to women who havenít noticed you yet and then trying to hook them into an interaction with you is just not the most productive way to go about things.
Again, if you go out and no women look at you, smile at you or talk to you, itís time to look at the other things that you are doing... Are you looking sharp? Are you with guys who are good with women? Are you putting out a needy vibe?
5) Go To Places That Cater To Your Demographic
There are all different types of bars and clubs. They each have their own different kinds of vibes and different kinds of women that like to hang-out there. You are going to meet different girls at loud "spring break" types of clubs than at classy lounges, neighborhood pubs, or the bar at Chiliís.
Now I like all types of women... but there are some things I am definitely not looking for. So this means Iím not going to be looking at the divorcee bars, or rowdy biker type watering holes. I might go to those places for fun, and I could possibly find someone Iíd like there, but those places donít typically cater to the demographic Iím interested in.
It also helps to be aware of what type of women are going to be feeling you. If you are an older guy in a fancy suit they might not be digging your style at the young scenester bar. The women there are more interested in the metro sexual guys with beards and scarves.
...So to recap. There are lots of attractive women at bars that want to hook up with you. Just make sure you:
- Donít act needy. Relax, and focus on having fun with your friends.
- Look sharp.
- Go with guys who are good with women.
- Wait until women show interest, then keep your approach simple and real.
- Go to bars that cater to women in you demographic.
And you should do just fine.
Also... and this is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: Only get a womanís number in a bar as a last resort, because she has to go with her friends or whatever. Girls from bars/clubs are much more likely to flake on you than girls you meet under other circumstances.
If you meet a girl you like at a bar try to keep the interaction going. If you have a buddy and you are talking to a couple girls, make sure to invite them to come over and keep the party going at your place. This is the exact dynamic most girls who go out to the bar are looking for!
Jake Vandenhoff is the author of the Online Dating Playbook, Learn how to attract women from the serenity of your own living-room by employing simple psychological principles.