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How Linguistics Can Help You Succeed with Women

by Princess-Spock

Boys and girls are different.

Well, duh, why say something so obvious?

Because, when you expect women to communicate like men do in a relationship, you're forgetting that most basic fact.

No interaction with ANY human being happens in a vacuum; your relationship with them (boss, sister, lover, mumbling stranger on a street corner) ALWAYS colors what goes on between you.

The science of linguistics exists, in part, to explain how that "coloring" works, and you can learn to use that information to your benefit.

Every culture has different "rules" of communication. Different parts of the country have different rules. People of different generations have different rules. And, of course, the genders have different rules.

None of these sets of rules are "bad" or "wrong." They are all equally valid, and, once you realize this, you can move beyond fruitless complaining about how women interact with you and learn to USE female methods to get what you want from a conversation with any girl.

The easiest linguistics books to read are those by sociolinguist Deborah Tannen, Ph.D, a professor of linguistics who is a best-selling author on this topic. All of her books are helpful, but the 2 best for figuring out the opposite gender are

"That's Not What I Meant: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships"

and

"You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation"

Both of these books are meant to be read and understood by regular people, and neither is a long or difficult book.

It's easy for men to scream about how women are "illogical" and "don't make sense." And it's every bit as easy for women to scream that men are "illogical" and "don't make sense." And both sides have lengthy arguments to back up those assertions. But agreeing with your same-gender buddies about the issue does NOT solve anything, teach you anything, or help your game.