Nice Guys vs Jerks

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I am a guy that was considered for a long time to be the "nice guy." I was the guy that women talked with about their boyfriends, their dreams, but would not be considered for a date. What it really comes down to between "jerks vs nice guys" is attitude. Attitude? Yes, attitude.

Women are fascinated with "jerks" and "bad boys." Why? Because both display a certain type of personality. "Jerks" treat women with little respect, where as the "nice guys" give them the world. However, they have the attitude of being self assured and they have confidence. They make a stand, they show their "attitude" towards the world. 

Now I am not saying that the "nice guys" need to become "jerks." Too many of them already. What you have to do is get attitude. Have self esteem, respect yourself, and number one; have confidence in yourself. Understand that you can overcome shyness.

I am a big guy, but I go out with a person that some consider a model because of her appearance. It is funny to see people's mouth drop when they see me with her. The look on their face is priceless. It's what I call the "How did he get her?" look. I very simply asked her out and showed her, you guessed it, attitude. I know what I want in life. I respect myself and her. I am intelligent, smart and funny.

On the matter of nice guys vs jerks I wish I could say that the statement was ridiculous and of course the nice guys in the end will get the girl but it's simply not true.

Women (just as men by the way) want someone who excites them, makes them feel special and gives them a thrill on a regular basis. They want somebody who sends them on an emotional rollacoaster.

I've been a bartender in the center of Amsterdam in one of the more popular places students go to, and before I started there I was a real regular nice guy to women. I'd take my time, always was nice even when they were being a total bitch and would really try to make them feel special. And it never worked. NEVER!!

After starting my, at first part time job there, I started, as a bartender, to get a lot of attention from women. Of course I realize that this was because of my job, had I been standing on the other side of the bar I wouldn't have gotten a second look. Problem was that the place is extremely busy and there are too many girls interested to give them all equal attention. To my amazement I found out that the girls I really didn't give the time of day, were the ones that really started to like me and started to do everything just to get a hello or a kiss out of me. (In Holland you give girls you know three kisses when you say hello.) 

Exploiting this my sex life picked up a great deal and it started working to outside of my work too. Having a total disinterested attitude, and being a total sarcastic bastard is for some strange reason a turnon with women. If a girl spent the night at my place and I wouldn't phone them up or react really happy when I saw them the next time the girls would start being really nice to me, and do everything to make me happy, this was a whole new world for me! And yes they would come back to my place again and everything would repeat itself.

Two years later I am now the manager of a club by the same owner and can't be as frivolous as I have been the last couple of years. Instead of the one, or whenever it's desirable, night stands I wouldn't mind something a little more lasting. Problem is that being a jerk works, but I don't want to or enjoy being a jerk to somebody I genuinely have feelings for. The other girls willingly and knowingly went for the bartender and not for me as a person, and everybody knows how the story ends if you hook up with a bartender. 

But I don't have a clue what happens when I fall in love. Probably the same way as it did before I invented the jerk in me, I'll get burned badly.

And just as in the movies in the end the nice guy gets the girl, but only because the jerk has had enough of her, she can't stand being treated badly anymore. The kid she's had needs clothes and food and a father and she's now willing to choose just love or at least affection over passion. And when the jerk pops up again, she'll be totally blown away again and full of doubts for a couple of weeks. (have I let go the love of my life?, were the bad times really that bad?, am I happy now?)

Well that's my input and I hope somebody proves me wrong, because when it's sex I'm looking for I have the perfect life, but when it's love I'm just as messed up as the rest of you.

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