Nice Guys vs Jerks

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I'm a 21 year old male and I consider myself the "nice guy." And so do many of the women who rejected me. Yet what they don't understand is that I've hung around the "jerks." Heck my best friend was a "jerk," so I've done the crazy and wild things with them. But the women never really gave me the chance to find out the real me. 

Nice guys can be outgoing, wild, and spontaneous, but we are rarely given the chance. Nice guys want to make sure we do absolutely nothing to offend, or hurt women. That's why some of us seem boring. (Now don't get me wrong. This doesn't go for all nice guys. Some really are not very interesting.) 

Now I don't want every woman to give every man a chance, but don't dismiss the guy you always enjoy talking to but never really thought about. All I have ever asked from a woman is to give me a shot and if they really believe that I'm not their type then no problem. 

And remember ladies a relationship involves two people. If you decide to give him a chance, give him a real chance. Don't shoot him down before he even picks you up. When a man sees that "I wish I were somewhere else" look before he even gets the conversation going then the guy will feel like crap and it will make it ten times harder for him. That's what my opinion on the nice guy vs. jerks issue is.

My comments today are motivated by the last Tip of the Day referring to meeting women as a game. In my opinion, thinking of dating as a game may be beneficial in the short run by boosting confidence. But what about the long term effects?

If women are looking for long term potential when evaluating a man, the hidden game attitude may give her an immediate impression of mate potential. When she soon learns the real intentions behind the rouse, she will be disinterested and consider him a jerk.

On the other hand, if a man is so nice that he is boring, she will be disinterested right off the bat. 

I recently met a good women at work. We played silly games of attraction after first meeting and things seemed to be going well. I acted like a jerk when she was feeling sassy and sensitive when she was vulnerable. After a while, I allowed more of my nice qualities to emerge, she soon lost interest and started dating a younger man with more spunk, so to speak.

I believe women are looking for both a jerk and nice guy moderately wrapped into one package. The trick is knowing when to be a jerk and when to be a nice guy by the way she is feeling at any given point in time.

Like most men, I'm a firm believer, through experience, that attractive women often end up with what I would call a jerk. I've even pretended to be a jerk and won-over a woman who previously blew me off when I was 'just being me'.

But every time I've brought this concept up with my wife, she considered it and eventually rejected it. Finally, one night while I was explaining why a friend of mine might be having troubles with his marriage, I said 'You know, Ken is such a nice guy, but he lets women walk all over him. I'll bet he's never grabbed [his wife], ripped her clothes off and banged the s**t out of her for four hours. Sometimes, I think women like being treated like whores.'

My wife stared at me with wide eyes and said 'That's it!' It's not that women don't like nice guys, it's that we want to be treated like sluts in bed... every once in a while. We probably subconsciously know that nice guys probably won't do this.'

I think she has something there.

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