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Nice Guys vs Jerks
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My opinion on this (as a male) is that the "nice guy" vs. "jerk" is a complete red herring. The point is not good vs. bad manners, or kindness vs.
emotional cruelty, or loyalty vs. rebellion, or any of that stuff. The point
is about not being too needy. It is possible to be the sweetest, kindest,
goodest, nicest guy in the world, and yet still be a challenge. As the DJ
site says, it's all about challenge.
A woman wants the best man on the "slime to demi-god scale" that she can find. Her most basic cue to where a man fits
on this scale, and how good a chance she has of doing better, is simply how desperate, needy etc. he
is. That is to say, how popular/unpopular (or at least apparently so) he is with other women.
And how does she appraise this? Well, if he comes on like a love-sick puppy, then he is
desperate. If he is a challenge, then he looks like he has other options, i.e., he must be
further up the ladder. The love-sick puppy is a push-over, obviously she can
have him, and thus can probably do better. The challenge is a potential mate, but there is doubt, maybe he is the best she can do. You can be very
very very nice to a woman indeed, so long as it seems to her that you are doing this not to win her over, but, well, because you are a nice guy!
How do I know this is true? Because I have several times "stolen" a girl from a jerk by being truly affectionate and "nice" (but not
needy - it was like I was just being kind to her, not not not like I was doing it
because I was crazy about her!). They all craved affection. When they received a truly warm, open, direct, flooding smile, they all melted.
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