Nice Guys vs Jerks

What the men think:  1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33

I've observed this myself, and I think there is a lot of truth to it, especially for younger men and women.

Strangely enough, I think that 'nice guys' can insult a woman on a subconscious level. The reason is that a nice guy will often do his best to not threaten the woman, and make her feel that there is no rush to get intimate. The message, however, is that he is insincere, because most men can't resist a new woman they find attractive. If she believes he IS sincere, and he really is a NICE guy who doesn't get a hard-on whenever he hears her voice on the phone, it makes her feel less attractive, or that there is no 'chemistry' between them.

Being an honest 'nice guy' who tries to be sensitive, but makes it clear what his intentions are often comes across as needy and begging for sex. Unless the woman already finds the man irresistibly attractive, this approach is a turn-off for women.

A 'jerk' or 'bad boy' approach comes across as more honest because he will openly talk about sex and challenge her to open up and lighten up. If done right, he acts with confidence and makes it clear that, although he finds her attractive, he's not going to crawl to her. This takes pressure off her, but also, because of reverse psychology, makes her want him more.

Of course the 'jerk' approach can be overdone, but most educated sensitive men could stand to be less 'nice' and more 'bad'.

Nice guys usually are easy ones. Women like men that are difficult. I'm a nice guy, women like us, but after a while, she doesn't want you because there is no challenge anymore. They like the challenge of "getting the guy". They like to talk about you with other women, but you can't talk to her yet, just look, cause if you talk, you can end up being her friend, and that screws up everything.

Now comes another question: "Do women like men that are jerks in society and nice guys at home like men like women that are very elegant in society and a whore in bed?" No, because when you are a jerk in society, you treat your woman like nothing and they don't like it. Either you are a jerk all the time or you should get a woman that like nice guys.

They like jerks in bed and nice guys the rest of the time.

It's not about nice guys v. jerks, it's about confidence v. no confidence. I know I'm a really really nice guy, and until two years ago, I could never get a woman to look at me twice. It wasn't because I'm not good looking (because I am), it was just that I was "the nice guy" with no self-confidence. 

Then about two years ago, I realized, "Hey, your a good looking guy" and you know what? I'm still a nice guy, just a tad bit more confident (smile), and I am beating the women off with a stick.

True, women tend to be attracted to guys who are jerks, but they'll always stay with the nice guys, that have a little self-confidence, enough so that they see them for "That Really Nice Guy" instead of "oh yeah, he's a nice guy."

What the men think:  1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14   15   16   17   18   19   20   21   22   23   24   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33

Go back to the index