Nice Guys vs Jerks

What the women think:   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10

I know why women (especially younger ones) prefer jerks over nice guys. This is because I am young (18) and have ditched many a nice guy so I could pursue a jerk. 

I am not looking for a relationship, or a potential husband and by dating assholes and jerks I am 90% guaranteed that a lasting relationship will not develop between the jerk and myself. 

I am told that I am a bitch, and I perceive myself as one. And I think that the reason I get so many men is for the same reason in reverse. Young people (and immature older people) are not looking for a relationship. So before entering a dating situation there has to be some sort of guarantee that nothing serious will develop - and dating a bitch or an asshole is just the guarantee that people like me are looking for.

I'm a 31 year old woman engaged to the man of my dreams. He's intelligent, egalitarian, kind, cultured, family-oriented, and happy. There is not a drop of jerk in him, but like most women in their 20s, I chose and dated a wide variety of losers.

Young women like "bad boys" for many of the same reasons that young men like demanding, high-maintenance women who treat them like doormats.

In youth, having little experience in the real world, our perceptions are most colored by images and impressions from tv, magazines, films, etc. Nothing is more important in high school than image, and in their 20s, most people are only beginning to question this. 

Unfortunately, people who have used image as their currency, by this point, have not had to develop very deeply on an emotional level. In addition, they are used to being treated as royalty because of their movie-star looks, and believe that it's their right to treat other people shabbily. Thus, as long as we seek partners with a certain "look", we are asking to be with men or women who are not terribly emotionally developed and who have an undeserved sense of entitlement.

Women start to see the light in their late twenties. Some men never do. My advice to the nice guys whose decency might be hampering their dating success is to widen the pool of women they consider. A current philosophy among some (male) dating gurus is to never date a woman over 30, as they are too set in their ways, hate men, and are starting to lose their looks anyway. Wrong, wrong, wrong! 

Older women have developed depth of character, have learned that "nice guys" are the way to go, and are in their sexual prime. In addition, they know who they are sexually, and are unashamed and unafraid to experiment and to take and give pleasure. Sex with a woman over 35 might be some of the best sex a man will ever have.

The problem with dating women under 25, which seems to be the goal for many men of all age groups, is that one will have to contend with the image-seeking behavior of youth. Unless a man is equally shallow and image-driven---and most men over 30 are not---women in their 30s, 40s, and up can be a goldmine of interesting and wonderful experiences.

Women also don't like nice guys because too often they seen like pushovers. If they can't stand up for themselves how can they stand up for us and be the "typical male protector"?

What the women think:   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10

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