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How to Project Confidence and Attract Women

by James

Human communication is comprised of two parts: verbal (the words we speak) and non-verbal (the body language, the gestures, the facial expressions we use). It is known that as much as 95% of what we communicate is non-verbal.

One of the most important, simple, and often taken for granted tools in non-verbal communication is the eyes.

A while ago I started going to a new place where I thought I could charm everyone there with my Don Juan skills. Adhering to the rules that a true DJ follows, confident posture, stylish clothes... everything (or so I thought).

Well whatever I did, I was always the one making the effort to approach and make conversation, and yet those that were not making nearly as much effort as I was, were being approached often.

Watching this time and time again I wondered what was I doing so wrong and others doing so right?

After much searching and observing it hit me -- EYE CONTACT!

Could it be that simple? Could eye contact be so important?

To help me answer this, I asked every woman I know, every woman I met for the next several weeks, what is it that women find attractive.

Two of the many women I asked put it particularly well, "What I'm most attracted to is eyes that have that little bit of sparkle. A man who is confident and comfortable enough with himself to use strong eye contact!" And another said, "The eyes tell an important story about someone, and a man who isn't afraid to tell that story is very attractive!"

Of all the traits that these women found attractive, the eyes won, by a large margin!

The next time you talk to a child that doesn't know you, you'll probably notice they won't be able to look you in the eyes. And what is the first thing that comes to mind -- "Oh, isn't that cute, he/she is so shy!"

Well let me tell you, it may have been cute when you were six, but no woman will find it cute when you do it now. It's not Don Juan-ish!

So start making better eye contact with everyone you meet, start with the people you already know, practice practice practice.

Try a little something called the 'shy salesman' look. If you are uncomfortable looking someone directly in the eyes, look at the bridge of their nose (between their eyes). Focus there. It is impossible to tell that you are not actually looking directly into their eyes.