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How to Kiss a Woman the Right Way

by Teri

My best friend of seven years had begun showing an increased interest in pursuing a physical relationship with me, and while he was very shy about the process, I really appreciated his moving slowly. It took some getting used to the idea of being romantic with him when we had seen each other through so many relationships.

Unfortunately, when the time came for that first kiss, caution (and attentiveness) went out the window. What had begun as a very slow and sensual lead-in turned sour REAL fast when he essentially shoved his tongue down my throat, wagged it around for a while, and pressed on in spite of my non-reaction.

Okay, maybe it wasn't quite as bad as all that, but it wasn't very pleasurable. If it had been a moment of rushed excitement, it may have worked, especially if we were planning on going further than just a kiss. But at the time, that wasn't the case, and it was completely inappropriate.

With that back story as an example, my tips are:

1) Don't be excessively eager.

If you're only thinking about how exciting it is that you're finally going to get to kiss this girl, you'll more than likely mis-judge her mood. There are different types of kisses, quite honestly, for different occasions.

To simplify it, there are deep, passionate kisses that serve almost as an appetizer, usually the things that accompany a frenzied ripping off of clothes just before an intense romp in the hay; and there are sweet, soft, kisses, that are meant to be the full embodiment of pleasure in and of themselves - something like a rich dessert that you want to linger on your tongue.

2) Know her mood.

Sorry, this requires judgment, and I know women can be difficult to judge when it comes to these matters, but be sure to use the right type of kiss for the moment. If she's tearing the buttons off of your shirt and pants and you give her a soft, gentle kiss, you may as well just TELL her you're not interested (it's what she'll assume).

Hint - if you think you're moving too fast and want to slow things down, pull her really close, hold her head, and kiss her REALLY hard and just hold still. That pause will not only show that you want to take your time with things, it also gives you a moment of extreme intimacy, and a chance for you to switch gears to get in that slower kiss.

To the same note, if you start with a fast, hard kiss while she's slowly pouring the champagne, it can feel like an attack or violation. If you start slow, things usually progress pretty naturally into a faster pace.

Hint - to help the process, try changing your position while kissing her (if you're sitting on a couch, try gently pulling her on top of you) - this allows you to get into a more intimate position, and moving usually creates a need to press together harder in order for you to stay in contact.

Just be sure that you don't force her - if she resists something she probably feels like it's going too fast, and the best idea is to revert immediately to a gentler kiss.

Good luck, and happy kisses.

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