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She Loves Herself or Me?

by DufDuf

One day I realized why I had so much trouble with a specific class of women. Why I was not satisfied with my new relationship. The answer is easy: they love to be loved. They don't like you as such, they like the attention you put on them.

Maybe this seems too simple... but I fall in this trap too often for my taste. What does one of these girl look like: she accepts dates, she smiles, laughs, maintains eyes contact, makes conversations, she's always kind, polite, sexy, etc. To this point, she acts like a girl interested... but in what. You must find. You or her?

I often read on the Net that making conversation with a women means making her talk about herself, being very attentive to what she says and building up from this. That sounds fair to me. But it's only part of the game. Do you really want somebody who only talks about herself?

To be clear: love is a game with two players. You don't have to base the whole relationship on her. That doesn't mean you should endlessly talk about yourself and your achievements, but if she never asks about it, get the clue.

Yes, women are very passive. Don't wait for her to call, to make sexual moves, or to talk about love. You are the guy. You should, most of the time, take all these actions on your part. That's Ok. But even there, she must show interest in you. Don't ask her "Do you love me?" She probably doesn't know yet. On the other hand, she knows if she's interested in you.

To sum up: be cautious with all the "signs" the Don Juaners say a girl may send you if she's interested. They all occur in the case mentioned above. I met girls who were open, positive and upbeat, but... concerned only with themselves. Of course, if you want to pick someone for one night, let's talk about her and only her. If you're looking for a more complete relationship, choose someone who lets you have a part of the stage. After all, you also have your dreams, your life, your interests, etc. It's like playing tennis: the other one must hit the ball back.

Never forget: if you get a girl by acting like X, you should, in order to keep her with you, continue to act like X. That's the big deal when flirting. If you attracted her by giving her all the attention, you better know if you can live with it for long. I tell you: play a role when you just want quick and easy sex; be true when you seek love and a relationship. No liar lasts for long. (He would end mad.)