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If You Don't Like Her Answers, Don't Ask the Questions

by Moe Janssen

Let's say you have invested a great deal of time and energy with one individual. The sex is great, you adore hanging out with this person, you share some laughs, you see each other all the time, you sleep over every weekend, you treat her well, etc.

You begin to develop an emotional bond, feelings start to increase as time progresses. Although it's only been a few months, you feel this person has potential and could become a keeper.

Just as things are moving along quite well, you discover a little bump in the road to happiness. You pull over to take a closer look and you discover something that does not sit very well with you.

For some, it may be a lie, suspicion of cheating or hiding something. Instead of being completely honest with you, they opt to make some lame excuse. The more you investigate the more evidence you find that maybe the individual that you admired, is NOT that special after all.

Why would someone jeopardize a good relationship?

Answer: 1) Deep down they feel they really don't deserve someone special so they sabotage it before they get hurt. Better to quit someone before they dump you. 2) Testing You -- women are constantly testing you to determine whether or not you have potential. They want to see how you react to an obstacle, if you are the jealous type, if you are sincere, etc.

One of the strongest emotions out there is jealousy -- it has a way of clouding our judgment and can turn a good man into a loser in a split second. Doing things like accusing someone of a lie or cheating is detrimental to any relationship.

The worst thing a man can do is give a girl an ultimatum like "choose me or lose me." The mind always picks the path of least resistance.

Continuing down on this destructive path is not the best course of action. That little lie that you discovered now begins to snowball and turns into a Witch-Hunt. Soon it spirals beyond your control to fix. This is a huge red flag, indicating past unresolved issues that are beginning to manifest themselves in another relationship.

So what is the solution here?

Simple: be cool, relax, lean back, and decrease the amount of time you two spend together. Act as if the problem does not even bother you in the slightest (even though it does). Learn to rise above it otherwise you fail the test and you will suffer in the long haul.

If you go looking for crap, eventually you will find it. If you throw enough crap against the wall, it only stands to reason some of it is gonna stick. If you don't like her answers then don't ask her the questions.

You should be focused on the 10 wonderful positive attributes she possesses rather than the one negative thing. Remember all the good times and forget the little mistakes. Life is too short to nitpick!

Moe Janssen
MAURICEWaterford@aol.com

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