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Social Intelligence

by Mr. Fingers

Social intelligence is the foundation of your game. You don't have to become a party animal or trendy hipster, but in general you should learn to communicate and vibe with people.

The problem is that many of us are trapped in our own heads due to extended periods of isolation. We work and study alone, get worn out and go home to plug into the television or internet...alone... again! We have to make a conscious effort to be social.

Chilling should be a major priority in your life. Hang out more often with friends. Find places that pique your interest where you can let loose and have a great time. Bars, restaurants, stores, cafes, streets, classes, gyms, clubs, etc. are all excellent places to mingle.

Learn to make friends of strangers and keep expanding your social circle till you are totally at ease in the company of others. Without some degree of social skills, you are pretty much useless!

There was a time that I suffered from social phobia, then I realized some of the mistakes I was making that kept me from vibing properly.

  • Talking/moving too fast.
  • Not maintaining eye contact.
  • Not talking at all, lost in my own thoughts and spacing out.
  • Nervous fidgeting, closed body language.
  • Censoring my words, being insincere.
  • Getting offended when people poked fun at me.
  • Worrying about the impression I was making.
  • Over-selling myself, trying to be "cool".

All of these things conveyed personal anxiety and neediness. Is it any wonder I could not make any friends?

Nobody likes a desperate try-hard, so take another look at the above list and do the complete opposite. Do yourself a favor and RELAX because the world is your living room! You don't have to be a clown or entertainer, but people will enjoy your company when you can make FUN of anything!

The cool part is that once you get a feel for this vibe, you will discover that you really don't need to rely on patterns or routines and will invent new material on the fly.

If your vibe is right, then your game will be tight!