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Behavioral Contracts

by D.J. Burgermeister

For some time I have been aware of using behavioral contracts to achieve goals. So why not use one to meet women?

Now this is not for those guys who are scared stiff of meeting women, but for those guys who do not make it a priority or may just be a little uncomfortable meeting women.

The way it works is you set a goal to approach a certain number of women on a weekly or monthly basis. Let's suppose for instance I say I am going to approach 20 women a month. I could break it down to 5 women per week. I might use a bolder approach on some of the women as part of my contract -- for instance 5 or 10 of these women might be approached aggressively if I am a bit shy in my normal approach.

Now in order to enforce this contract you are going to have to have a system of rewards and punishments. Write down the things you enjoy doing most and rate them on a scale of one to ten. These should be simple things such as having a snack or some other routine thing you enjoy.

When you approach a woman reward yourself with the smallest and graduating up the reward rating for each time you approach a woman. At the end of the month you should have reached your goal. If you did reach it give yourself a bigger reward such as buying something you might otherwise not buy.

Now if you fail you could either offer someone a lot of money that they get to spend if you fail, or perhaps commit to send that money to an organization such as "The National Organization for Women" or some political cause you are opposed to.

It is best to have one person who you can trust to hold you to your commitment. If you can get more than one it is good, and if they are trying for the same goal even better. Just be sure that if you elect to give the money to them that they are somebody you can trust.

The reason this works is that humans respond to pain and pleasure. What we are trying to do here is make meeting women a priority instead of something we might get around to later if there is time. We are using pain and pleasure to work for us and not against us as it usually does.

We will therefore condition ourselves to associate pleasure to meeting women, and overcome and desensitize ourselves to the
uncomfortable feelings we previously had.