How to Approach and Meet Women Anywhere and Everywhere You Go
I have a couple questions if you could please help me.
Number one, I have your book and follow your stuff and I LOVE IT...to say the least. I've noticed though, that a lot of your stuff dealing with first encounters and pickups seems to be best fit for the club/bar scene which is great and everything, but I'm wondering how you go about doing pickups in regular places, like a supermarket, store, or coffee shop for instance?
What suggestions do you have for meeting women here and how would you personally approach a woman in these circumstances?
I mean, after a conversation has progressed, I can see how the cocky and funny will work but I'm wondering about the first encounter if you could help please.
Second, I see that one of your biggest suggestions is seeking out other successful guys in your area and hanging with them and learning from them. My problem is even though I live in a huge college campus area with PLENTY of women around and lots of stuff to do, I can't find any other guys in my area who I can go out with and kick some ass with.
Most of my family and friends are back home and I haven't really made any close guy friends that I can hit the clubs/bars with here (the ones I do have are just nerds who want to stay home and just drink only). I mean I can go out by myself but I like having a wing with me -- it's funner that way!
I really agree with you though about the importance of this and I was wondering if you any suggestions on how to find other guys who you can go out and chase tail with? See...why can't you live closer to me damn it!!
Thanks for everything Dave and I hope you have more success in the future because you've helped bring that to a lot of people.
First of all, I want to point out that the ideas in my book and bonus materials are not designed for meeting women in clubs and bars only. Most of my personal success with women, and most of the success of my readers happens in more "normal" places like coffee shops, bookstores, schools, parties, and even online.
I think that maybe some people just mentally apply what they read to situations that they're familiar with, so it might seem that I'm talking about "clubs and bars" when I'm really talking about more than that.
With that said, let's talk about some of the "how to's".
I chose this particular email from a reader because of the way it was worded. Part of the question is:
"...I'm wondering how you go about doing pickups in regular places, like a supermarket, store, or coffee shop for instance? What suggestions do you have for meeting women here and how would you personally approach a woman in these circumstances? I mean, after a conversation has progressed, I can see how the cocky and funny will work but I'm wondering about the first encounter if you could help please..."
I want to point out that you're assuming here that you should have a fairly in-depth conversation when you first meet a woman. I think that most guys have a fear of approaching women because they don't really know what to say, or where to take the conversation. I know that was a big one for me when I first wanted to learn this stuff.
But here's what I learned...
You Don't Have to Have a "Conversation" At All When You First Meet a Woman. All You Have to Do Is Get Her Digits!
In my book, I teach you how to get a woman's email and phone number in about 3 minutes. I know that it kind of sounds sensational... like I'm probably just using that as a marketing trick... but I'm actually very serious about it.
Now, there's a lot more to success with women than just getting numbers. But for the sake of this argument, let's just say that ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO BE CONCERNED WITH WHEN YOU'RE FIRST MEETING A WOMAN IS GETTING HER EMAIL AND PHONE NUMBER.
Yep, that's it.
And you can do that in a few minutes, if you know what to do and how to do it. I've had MANY friends of mine go out with me and watch me get 5+ numbers in an evening from women, and only talk to them for a few minutes each to do it. And I'll tell you what... it changes their perspectives forever.
Long conversations are not a pre-requisite for getting a phone number, email address, or future date.
I can hear the arguments now:
- "But no woman is going to just give you her number..."
- "What makes you think a woman is just going to hand over her private information to a stranger?"
Well, I'm here to tell you that I and many guys I know have done it so many times that it's no longer a question in my mind.
And Here's Why It's Important to Do It This Way
The longer you talk to a woman when you first meet her, the more likely you are to say something stupid, say something that disqualifies you in her mind, or get into a conversation that goes down the wrong road. It's as simple as that.
If you don't waste any time, and just focus on getting her email and number, you'll be able to set up a second meeting... where you can focus on taking things to the next level. And trust me, it's a lot easier to recover from a mistake or bad conversation when you're sitting across from her alone over a cup of tea then when you're looking at her over the mango section in the supermarket. Think about it.
So let's land the plane... what do you do to get her to give up the info so quickly?
- Know exactly how you want the conversation to go.
- Know HOW to ask.
- Know WHEN to ask.
- Have pen and paper on you.
I recommend that you take a few minutes every day to imagine having conversations with new women. It might go something like this:
"Hi there, you're cuter than the average woman that I see in the produce section... are you friendly?"
Her: "Ha ha... well, sometimes."
"So, are you shopping for a special occasion, or is this just a routine produce visit?"
Her: "No, just here for some fruit."
"Nice. Are you from the area?"
"Are you from here originally?"
Her: "Born and raised."
"Well, it was nice meeting you... and enjoy your mango..."
"Hey... do you have email?"
Her: "Yea, I do."
(Treat the "Yea" as an agreement to give it to you, then take a pen out of your pocket [I prefer the Space Pen] and hand it to her to write down her email. As she's writing, say "and write your number there too... and your name, which I didn't get...")
The key is that you have to act LIKE THIS IS THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD.
...OK, see how easy that was? Is that realistic? I think so. I've probably gotten 200 emails and phone numbers with dialogues like that.
I think a key is to MENTALLY REHEARSE how you will handle yourself so you know exactly what to do when the time comes. It all has to flow and seem natural.
OK, to address the second part of your question...
How to Meet Other Guys Who Know What They're Doing
I think it's a good idea to go out once in awhile to the local hotspots and WATCH what's going on. Specifically, I think it's a great idea to look for attractive women that are with guys, and watch how the GUY is behaving. Also, it's interesting to watch guys picking women up to see what they're doing. You'll learn a few really important things first-hand when you do this:
- You'll see the body language of guys that are able to attract and keep women.
- You'll see the gestures and hear the voice tone of guys that are approaching women, and see how the women respond.
- Invariably, you'll see some guys are really good with women, and you can make friends with them. It's easy... just say "Hey, you are the mac with the babes. Let me buy you a beer. I need you to tell me a few things." A beer is a cheap price to pay for wisdom.
...and that wraps up the Q&A...
Of course, you probably realize, as I did, that getting a number or a date is A SMALL PIECE of the puzzle. Everything I teach in my book is designed to teach you the ATTITUDE and BODY LANGUAGE and all the other little things that cause women to feel ATTRACTION inside... for reasons that they don't even understand. And if you haven't downloaded your copy, then I HIGHLY recommend that you go to:
...now and get it. You might as well have as many pieces of the puzzle as possible, right? It's taken me years to learn, figure out, and test it all, and I use every single thing I teach PERSONALLY in real world situations. Check it out.
I'll talk to you again soon.
David DeAngelo is the author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.
Copyright 2010 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.