Seduction Via Curiosity
An important aspect of self-expression is curiosity. It's similar to enthusiasm: you've got to use it or lose it. Once you've repressed your curiosity long enough, it takes time to get it back.
Many of us were taught as children not to ask questions, to avoid being too curious. We all know the expression "curiosity killed the cat." Asking questions and being curious were often said to cause trouble.
Another problem with curiosity is that when you start asking questions you stop being in control of the interaction. When you ask a woman questions about herself, suddenly you're not in control of what she might say.
As we've said, most guys come to us wanting a line or routine. They're looking for a structure they can impose on an interaction that will keep them in control and get her romantically interested. But when you take the risk of not knowing what is going to happen, and surrender to the chaos of interactions and conversations with women, you're more likely to connect with them and more likely to come across as fun and attractive.
You can start the process of letting out your curiosity by asking women questions and simultaneously letting go of any outcome. Let go of trying to get into her pants and getting her number (for a second) and just see if it feels different.
We're not saying that trying to get into her pants is a bad thing at all -- we're just saying that when you concentrate on getting into her pants as your sole outcome it's very difficult to maintain a conversation and therefore hard to get into her pants.
You never know where a conversation is going to go with a woman, but if you've got to stay in control and restrain your own curiosity and never ask a question you don't already know the answer to, you'll never be successful. Most men just give up because not knowing where an interaction is going is just too scary.
Another advantage of learning to be curious is that it's not the least bit manipulative or scam-oriented. When you take risks with women and they risk with you, real intimacy can develop.
If being curious is difficult for you right now, don't worry. After you start experimenting with being curious it will become a lot easier.
This topic, and much more about taking risks with women, is covered extensively in our new book, How to Talk to Women -- information available here.
Email comments and questions:
davidc@howtosucceedwithwomen.com
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Write us: P.O. Box 55094, Madison, WI 53705
Ron and David are dating coaches. How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC.
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