Ten Essential Flirting Moves You Must Know

by Ron Louis & David Copeland

There are 10 essential flirting moves that you must know:

1) Smiling

You must smile. You probably think you smile now, but you don't, really. You should practice your smile in the mirror. To be big enough to be noticed, your smile will probably have to be bigger than you are used to.

2) Getting Caught Looking

Most people look away when the object of their desire looks at them. If you want to let that person know you are interested, when they catch you looking, smile, hold eye contact a moment longer, then look away.

3) Waving

A little wave to someone who caught you looking, along with a smile, is a non-intrusive, very flirty way to say "hello."

4) Winking

You can wink at someone from across the room, or wink at someone during a conversation. If he or she says something funny, or someone else does something silly, you can give a wink as a way of sharing a little moment for just the two of you, as if the two of you are in on some private joke no one else is aware of.

5) Asking "What's the Story Behind That?"

You can ask "what's the story behind that?" about any special or unusual thing your quarry is wearing or carrying. Examples: "That's a really neat bracelet you are wearing. What's the story behind that?" or "That's a really great briefcase. What's the story behind that?" Even if there isn't much of one, it's given you some conversation.

6) Holding Eye Contact

While you are conversing with your new friend, you want to be sure to have eye contact at least some of the time. At least once it's a good idea to hold the eye contact a little "too long," just a fraction too long, so there's a brief, more intimate moment between you.

7) Non-Intrusive Touching

This can be as simple as placing your hand lightly on his or her hand for a moment, or touching his or her back for a moment as you walk to a table to sit down. Just do this a couple of times on the first flirting interaction -- if the person pulls away, don't do it again.

8) Checking Him/Her Out

Checking out someone's body must be done properly, especially if you are checking out a woman. The goal is for your new friend to feel complimented that you noticed his or her body, not objectified like some piece of meat. You do this by making eye contact, then quickly, in less than a second, passing your eyes down and then up over his or her body, then back to looking in the eyes. It should happen quickly, and you should be unashamed of taking a glance. Just don't do it too often.

9) Using the "Good-bye Compliment"

If you are shy, flirting with the "good-bye compliment" may be just the thing you need. On your way out, you simply go up to the person you want to flirt with, and say something like, "Hi, I have to go now, but before I did, I really wanted to let you know that you have a really great sense of style, and that I noticed it. I wish I had more time to spend with you, but I have to go." Then leave. This allows you to build your confidence in approaching people, without having to take the risk of rejection -- after all, you have to leave, you couldn't stay even if they wanted you to! (Some people also ask for phone numbers at this point.)

10) Stopping While It's Still Fun

Remember, flirting should be fun, and you should leave the flirting interaction feeling victorious. Most people leave their flirting interactions feeling like failures because they don't stop until it stops being fun. If you stop flirting on a high point, while it's still fun, your new friend will feel good when thinking of you, and want to see you again.

About the Author: Ron and David are dating coaches. Their book How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC. For more great tips on meeting and dating women or to ask a question go to howtosucceedwithwomen.com.