When She Doesn't Show Up for the Date

by Ron Louis & David Copeland

First, you wait only fifteen minutes for her to arrive. If you are still there when she arrives twenty, thirty, or forty minutes later, all you are doing is showing her that you are a worm who will still be there for her, no matter how she treats you.

If she shows up thirty minutes late and you are gone, it shows her that she has to treat your time as respectfully as she'd like her own treated. If a woman isn't there by fifteen minutes after you've scheduled the date, there is only a small chance she will show up anyhow.

Sometimes when a woman is running late, or can't make it, she'll call your answering machine or voice mail to let you know. After waiting fifteen minutes, check your machine. If there's no message from her, leave. If you don't have an answering machine you can check remotely, you should get one if you are going to date a lot of women. It will save you a lot of wondering time.

If she's running late and tells you, it is permissible to wait, but you should still cut the date off quickly. For instance, if your date is scheduled for noon, and at 12:15 you receive a message that she'll be a few minutes late, and she finally arrives at 12:35, it is critical that you still leave the date at a time you would have if she hadn't been late.

At five to one you would warn her, "Boy, it's fun to be with you, but I have to go in a few minutes." Hopefully the shortness of the date will inspire her to be more punctual next time. If you stay extra-long, and rearrange your day to accommodate her lateness, there's no reason for her to change her behavior, and she will continue to be late in the future. This will result in a pattern of inconvenience and reinforce her to take advantage of you.

If a woman stands you up, your call the next day is where you turn the entire humiliating experience around. Usually, we don't advocate being dishonest with women in any way. But when she stands you up, in our opinion she needs some correction. Here's how you do it.

Don't call her the day she missed the date. This is for two reasons. One, calling her that same day makes you look more desperate than you are. You want her to understand that you have a busy life, and her missing the appointment didn't throw you into a tizzy. Two, she might call you and apologize, though in our experience and the experience of our students, this has never happened.

Call her the next day, and apologize for missing the date. Even though you were there, you say, "I'm so sorry I missed our date yesterday. Things just got wild at work, and I just spaced it out. I really apologize. I hope you'll let me take you out again, and make it up to you."

At this point, she has two choices. One, she can say, "Oh, that's okay, I didn't show up either," which shows that she is at least honest. Two, she can lie, and say, "Yea, I waited twenty minutes, and you never came!" Either way, your response is the same.

You do not call her on her lie -- remember, your purpose is to seduce her, not to be right. (You do notice, however, that she is a woman who both didn't show up and lied to you about it, which are neither good signs.)

What you do is you say, "I'm so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you on our next date." You can then either push the program and ask her out to a more romantic date, or bring her flowers on the next priming date and more thoroughly seal your romantic interest.

Set up another date and, in the guise of "making it up to her," keep the seduction moving forward.

About the Author: Ron and David are dating coaches. Their book How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC. For more great tips on meeting and dating women or to ask a question go to howtosucceedwithwomen.com.