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Communication Do's & Dont's

by Jeannie Crabtree

A very important ingredient to having a superior relationship lies in good communication. In fact, you cannot have a good relationship with a person unless you are able to relate to him or her.

The ability to communicate effectively means that you have to pay close attention and to listen very carefully. We all have different methods of communication. You need to be able to understand, appreciate, and respect how other people communicate. Especially in a relationship.

A good way to show another person that you are listening carefully to him or her is to repeat what he or she has said. Say for example your partner tells you: "You have been very distant lately," you then say, "So you are saying I have been distant?"

Follow up with an open ended question like "Tell me more about what you mean." By saying that, you can verify what the other person has said and make him or her feel comfortable about talking to you about his or her concern.

How you communicate with your words (communication skills) could bring comfort by reducing fear and easing tension. The following are some guiding principles to help you take advantage of your words and get your point across more effectively:

* Do make the person you are talking to feel secure by offering a lot of support and appreciation. This gets the silent types to open up more and feel at ease.

* Don't feel that everything has to be resolved at one time.

* Don't make your date or partner feel uncomfortable by judging, criticizing, or making fun of what he or she has to say.

* Do listen carefully and avoid interrupting while the other person is talking. I know this can be difficult, just keep working on it.

* Do relax. Feeling anxious can mess up your confidence and attention. Take deep breathes when you feel like you need to end the conversation because of fear or panic.

* Do get to the point and be clear on what you want to get across or if you have any questions.

* Don't use offensive vocabularies and expressions in the way you communicate. It is very disrespectful and cheapens your communication skills.

Jeannie Crabtree

P.S. For a great guide to develop communication skills and a special charismatic power to influence people to look up to you, respect and admire you I would suggest buying The Power Of Charisma and putting it to work in your life.