4 Simple Steps to Attract Her to You
Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a naturalness to her — she was amazing. The high school prom dance was right around the corner. And sixteen year old me thought this girl was into me.
So, I decided to make my move.
With a big bouquet of flowers and a bright smile to match, I went for it. I’ll never forget the scene. Fifty of my peers watching me — waiting for my date-to-be to show up — so I could make the move.
Oh, she showed up, alright.
Just picture this: a young buck with a bright bunch of flowers approaches the real cutie of the school. Everyone’s watching.
It’s the big moment! The ninth inning! Everyone’s there! So what happens?
My date-to-be — the second she realized I was asking her to the dance? She ran! In fact, being an athlete, she sprinted.
She full-on sprinted — directly into her classroom.
I’ll never forget the slam of that high school door — and the loooooong silence that followed. You could have dropped a pin — and every single person gathered ‘round would of heard it.
To this day, no rejection stung like that one did.
Following this little situation, I looked inward for the first time. And I remember realizing: I’m awkward. I suck with women. I don't know how to read people or connect with them.
That was my story. Now, ten years later, I help men get dating results. There’s a whole lot that happened within those ten years. Stories to tell for future blog posts.
What I want to do here, however, is share the four step process for attracting a woman that I wish my 16 year old self knew. It’s simple, effective, and easy to remember.
In short, there’s four key steps I’ve discovered — four steps you can use to meet women and create attraction. And since it’s usually our job as men to kickstart the dating process, it’s really nice to have a simple sequence to rely on.
So what is this “sequence?” And what are the steps? I call it the dynamite seduction sequence. You’ll get an understanding of why I named it that and how it can get you dating results, in this blog post.
Step One: Provide the Fuel
Step one in attracting a woman to you starts with, well, you. You as the man fuel the experience between the two of you. Of course, it’s a two-person process. But if you don’t bring your masculinity to the interaction, how can she be attracted? Your masculinity is the fuel that creates the opportunity for two-way attraction. But how do you provide this fuel? There’s lots of ways. I outline 7 keys for becoming naturally attractive to women right here.
The number one key? For becoming that naturally attractive fuel she desires? Simple. Have a strong purpose as a man. Nothing makes you more attractive than having a primary purpose which you dedicate yourself towards each day.
When you have this purpose you’re focused on, you make it easy for her to enjoy your masculinity. As a man who’s mission comes before all else, you’re the perfect fuel — the kind of guy she’s naturally attracted to. But why?
For one, you’re not clingy or desperate. You’re not firing endless text messages her way — like most guys do. Instead, your mission consumes your focus. As a byproduct, you create space for her to chase.
By having a clear aim as a man, she can feel comfortable around you. You aren’t that over-invested, needy guy. And since your life already has meaning, you don’t become over-reactive — which makes you a highly attractive man.
Step one is to fuel the dating process by embodying the naturally attractive traits that attract her to you. And the number one way to do just that is to put your mission first.
Step Two: The Spark of Attraction
This is where the real fun begins. The first two ways I always advise my clients to spark attraction with a woman they like are with their eyes and their facial expressions. Specifically, eye contact, and a smile, go a long way. But what else?
In my opinion, besides eye contact and a smile, nothing sparks attraction better than some good ol’ fashioned banter. A playful, “Hey there, trouble maker,” or “Stop looking at me like that, it’s making me like you,” set the tone for a flirty conversation.
Step two is to spark attraction with eye contact, a genuine smile, and some fun banter.
Step Three: The Slow Burn
Once they see any sign that the woman is interested, most guys over-pursue, as I wrote about here. They put their foot on the gas and overwhelm the woman. But not you. Instead, you’re going to embrace the process — the slow burn.
Here, you create space. Whether it’s by not responding to her texts right away, embracing silence in conversation, or by allowing for time to build more connection, the key here is to take your time.
By doing so, you stand out. You become more desirable. By not responding immediately or instantly trying to escalate sexually, not only do you demonstrate patience, but you give the woman space to crave your advances. This sets you up perfectly for step four of the dynamite seduction sequence...
Step Four: The Dynamite Explosion
Now, it’s time to make sparks fly. After increasing the sexual tension in step 3, if there’s chemistry between the two of you, the woman you’re with should be ready for more. This is when you want to make your move.
But when, exactly? What are the clear signs a woman gives when she wants you to escalate — and turn up the heat?
First, if a woman suggests you two go somewhere private, that’s a big sign. Another cue is when the two of you find yourself very touchy, with lots of physicality — as well as long, intense eye contact.
If you see one or more of these cues, she’s likely ready for you to kiss her — and perhaps more. But to ensure the dynamite explodes and everyone wins, here’s a few nuanced pieces of advice I wish my younger self knew...
First, if you go for the kiss and she doesn’t reciprocate, stay calm. Doing so shows off your sense of composure and confidence. You may find she kisses you minutes later.
Next, if you kiss her and things get more intimate, remember this little nugget of wisdom: two steps forward, one step back. What this means? Take your time. Sometimes, even move in reverse. Just because you can escalate further doesn't mean you should. Embrace the slow burn mentality.
She’ll thank you for this — your patience gives both of you the best odds of experiencing a dynamite night.
There it is my friend: a proven four-step process you can use to go turn a female acquaintance into a romantic partner. But, let’s not end there... I have lots more to share with you.
I want to ask you — which step in this process has historically been there most complicated for you? Is there anything that doesn’t make sense about what you just read?
I’m excited to continue the conversation. Shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know.