Stop Chasing Women & Watch Them Come to You
Donít you ever wonder why you canít successfully pick up women? Well, we have the answers right here.
AskMen.com conducted an extensive survey with more than one hundred beautiful women. (what a hard job we had!) The purpose was to find out why women fall head over heals over one man more than another. Finally, we got the answer that weíve all been anxiously waiting for; it all comes down to the chase. Apparently, womenís perception of men depends on how the male goes about setting up the bait to trap women. This perception usually remains the same throughout the relationship. It is safe to say that most women we surveyed enjoy being chased, but get turned off quickly by the way men approach them. Men know how to initiate the chase, but can rarely close the deal successfully.
What your mothers forgot to teach you: "Intro to Women, Class 101". It is a known fact that men are mommyís little boys, and women are daddyís little princesses. The key word is princess. Women like to be cherished, respected, loved, and most of all, showered with attention. So that is what men should give women: attention.
The problem with most men is they think that in order to make sure their catch doesnít get away, they must constantly give women attention. Wrong! The reason that most women get bored in a relationship, or turned off by a new acquaintance, is that they get too much attention at once. Have you ever heard of the phrase "I need some breathing space please!"? Well, this phrase exists for a reason, yet most men ignore it, and continue giving their women their undeniable attention.
Wait a minute! You might ask, "Luis, you just said that women like a lot of attention, and now you are telling me too much is bad??" Yes, because the whole secret is to know when to give attention and when not to. I recommend a three-step method recommended by psychologist Dr. David Libstein. Iíve tried it and it works! The question now is, is it an ethical method? Well I always say, "What people donít know, wonít hurt them."
The Three-Step Bait Method
Stage One: Bait Her
For a woman to know that you are interested, she must be aware of it. If she is not, then absolutely nothing will happen. You therefore have to take a risk. This is where the chase begins.
Pick the woman that you are interested in, wherever you may be. May I suggest that you choose your lady early and concentrate only on her the whole time you are there. If you start looking around too much, you will give her the impression that you are looking for anyone to sleep with. After you find her, begin by looking for body language signs, such as eye contact, a smile, hair touching, etc.
If you get these signs from her, you must move quickly. Most men just wait around eyeballing the lady the whole time. By the time they get the nerves to go talk to her, either someone else moved in, or sheíll think you are some perverted stalker because you gawked too much.
Stage Two: Spoil Her With Attention
Okay, now you made your move. You initiated the conversation. Now how do you make sure you keep the conversation going, and ensure she remains interested? Spoil her with attention by asking her all types of questions regarding her life. No sex-related questions please. Instead, talk about her likes (music, food, drinks, restaurants), her education, movies, even the current awkward situation. The important thing is to not mention anything (no matter how tempting) about yourself, unless of course she asks you to. If she does, (this usually means sheís interested) please remember to be brief and move the topic back to focus to her.
Offer to buy her a drink only once the conversation has gone on well for an extended period of time (at least ten minutes). Once the conversation deepens, it is okay to mention that youíd like to keep in contact with her, and ask for a phone number. The first phone call should be at least two days after the encounter. The conversation should revolve around how much fun you had with her, and how impressed you were with her personality. In other words, compliment her like crazy. Make sure that the first phone call does not last more than twenty minutes. It is crucial that you end the first phone call first. If she ends the conversation, the ball is in her court. The conversation should end with you inviting her out for a coffee.
On the first date, donít initiate a conversation about sexual topics, unless of course she does. The first date is a time to explore and find out a little more about each other. Do everything for her, but you donít necessarily have to agree with everything that she has to say. When she disagrees with your stance, accept it, and donít offer excuses either. Excuses make you look weak.
Stage Three: The Earthquake
Now that the little "princess" is comfortable, itís time to make the ground shake under her feet. The fact that we want to be accepted, liked, and needed is human nature. Once this need is fulfilled, we turn our attention towards stabilizing it. Just think back to when a friend told you that Mary was interested in you. You probably didnít think much of it at the time, but as soon as you found out that Mary liked someone else, you began wondering why she doesnít like you anymore, and you suddenly became interested in Mary. We always want what we canít have.
Well the same theory applies with women. It is time to take away all that attention from the little sweet princess. How? Simple, ask her to call you. When she does, speak to her and sound really interested, and have a longer conversation. Make her feel that you really like talking to her. End the conversation by politely letting her know that you have things to do, but let her know that you enjoyed talking to her and that youíll call her back. Donít tell her when youíll call her back. Let her wait for a while (around four to five days). She will wonder why you havenít called back, and eventually call you.
Now the ball is in your court. It is crucially important to sound very happy when she calls you, or else she wonít call back. The secret to making this method work is that you confuse her. First you make her think that you are really interested in her. Second, you make her feel as if you are no longer interested. Then, repeat the process. What will eventually happen is that her need to be accepted will grow and she will focus her attention on you, to make sure you like her. Then her mind will wander, and she will think about why she is spending so much time thinking about you. Her subconscious mind will then reason that it must be because she cares about you.
It is a shame that people have to resort to such devious methods, but your alternative is to be a nice guy. We all know what happens to nice guys, right? They finish last. Why? Because the women they are with get bored and eventually leave.
Remember that this is a generic method, and youíll probably have to adapt it more to your own situation, and if you have any questions, just AskMen.com.
Luis Rodrigues is a writer in the dating section for http://www.AskMen.com. Luis is the in-house expert on dating. His extensive background in "Womenology" (as we like to call it), includes studies in Psychology, Sociology, and Anthropology. But, it is the lessons of life (and many relationships), that have made Luis an expert on women. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.