Talking About Sex
I once told a girl that I was dating to come over to my place and hang out. She said, so what do you want to do today? I told her that I wanted her to come over and have sex, and then weíd go out and do something fun. I couldnít understand at the time why she got upset with me, and subsequently didnít want to come over anymore after that.
Luckily, weíre still friends and I asked her about this months later. I was shocked at what she told me.
She said that she DID want to come over and have sex, but that I "cheapened" it by talking about it directly. I couldnít believe what I was hearing! "How could telling you that I want to have sex with you cheapen the act of doing it?", I asked (quite angrily at that point).
She went on to explain that when you want a girl to come over, and you know that sex is going to happen, itís better to speak in implication, and refer to sex indirectly. "Well how do I do THAT, and WHY should I have to?" I askedÖ still pissed off, but very curious to discover the answer.
She understood my frustration, but reassured me that most women are like this. She told me that if I want a girl to come over and have sex, that itís a LOT better to tell her that Iíve been thinking about her, and that I miss her, and how I would love nothing more for her to come over spend time with me. "Well that sounds like the same thing! I mean, she KNOWS damn well that if she comes over to spend time, weíre going to end up having sex. She KNOWS that, so why do I have to beat around the bush and avoid mentioning it directly???"
I was so confused, but also excited because her words did ring true for me. I realized then that I had been going about things all wrong when I invited girls to come over to my place. I realized that I made them feel cheap by directly referring to our time together as a time for us to just have sex. But if I simply told them that I wanted them to come over and just be with me, and tell them that I miss themÖ it would make them feel okay about it (even though they knew that sex was inevitable).
So remember, never indicate directly that you want her to come over for sex. The sex is already ASSUMED, and therefore you donít ever have to bring it up.
But when IS it okay to talk about sex? Honestly, in my experienceÖ if you want to talk about sex directly with a woman, wait until youíve been with them a few times in bed. At that point, they are comfortable enough with you to talk openly about such things, and they wonít feel like thatís ALL you want them for.
Also, another great time to talk about sex is right AFTER. Let me explain. You and her just finished getting it on, and now youíre lying there with her in your arms (if you are the kind of guy who just rolls over after sex, you might want to rethink your strategy, because women really get offended by that).
At that point, itís a great opportunity to tell her what a great lover she is, and what specifically you like the most about her style of intimacy. Donít just make stuff up either. If you canít think of something that you can compliment her on, then itís time to switch partnersÖ or start paying closer attention and get to know the person youíre with a little better.
Okay, so to summarizeÖ when you want a girl to have sex with you, itís better to imply it, and maybe refer to it indirectlyÖ but NEVER just come out and say it directly. I have never met one woman who wants to feel like sheís being used for sex. Make her feel special, and let her know that you want to spend time with her for other things too, not just sexÖ and you will have more sexual partners than you can handle. And now, YOU will be in the position of choice when it comes to women.
You see, beautiful women pretty much have their "pick of the litter" when it comes to getting laid. They simply have more options than most guys do. But by methodically building quality sexual relationships with women, you will enjoy the same power and choice.
And a quick note about ethics. Donít imply that you want a romantic, committed relationship with a woman in order to get into her panties. If you honestly want one, thatís great. Itís much more satisfyingÖ but donít ever mislead someone to believing that youíre interested in more than you really are. Itís deceitful, and hurts everyone involved.
Once you get good at being a ladies man, youíll realize that you never have to lie in order to make women want to sleep with you. In fact, I have found that just being myself and being honest about my sexual desires has gotten me laid a LOT more than when I was bullshitting women into bed with me.
Anyway, enough about that. Iím not your mother, and you can make your own decisions. I just want you to know that itís been my experience that being ethical is a lot more rewarding when it comes to being a seducer.
Some people think that seducing women means being dishonest Iím here to tell you that nothing is further from the truth. When you can make a woman feel really wonderful when sheís with you, sheíll just naturally want to come back for more. You wonít have to convince her, or chase after her. Trust me on this.
This article is a short clip from my latest book, Simple Seducer - The most complete guide to picking up women EVER written. If you enjoyed this article then you should stop by my web site Simple Seducer and learn more about the book... it may just be exactly what youíve been looking for!