Be Her Therapist for Ultimate Success
I hate being the contrarian but I have to disagree with the articles and the books that suggest if you listen to a girl's problems, are empathetic with her, and offer her solutions, that she will hardly ever look upon you in a sexual way.
Why do I disagree you ask? Because this is my most effective tool for winning over a girl, making HER fall head over heals in love, and maintaining a positive, friendly relationship when I am done with her.
The common opinion seems to be that if you allow her to spill out her guts about her childhood traumas and her past boyfriend problems, that she will either associate you with the past issues, or look upon you as a friend only. This is wrong, dead wrong, if you do it right. Let me explain.
Getting a woman to be totally hooked on you is like boxing, only in reverse. In boxing the rule of the game is to take out the body and the head will follow. In dating it is sort of the reverse or as I put it, if you take out the head (mind), the body (and all of its wonderful pleasures) will follow.
The easiest way I have found to do this is by playing the therapist role. What does a therapist do? A therapist asks open-ended questions like, "How did that happen?" or "Why do you feel that way?" Upon hearing the result a therapist listens not only for the obvious but also for the hidden meanings and the non-verbal communication of the client.
Upon completion of his analysis, he then offers suggestions about how the client can improve upon their thought processes to change their feelings or behaviors. Are you following so far, because this is where it gets good!
Now, our goal as pimps and players is to get to the body, and it is rare that a woman will give you the body without you first unlocking her mind. The benefit of getting into therapist mode is that she unlocks all the doors for you, and all you have to do is listen.
Sun Tzu said in the Art of War that, "Anciently the skillful warriors made themselves invincible and then awaited their enemies moment of vulnerability."
As humans our first reaction to a new individual is to put up a wall of invincibility. We are very guarded about what we truly feel because we are sometimes ashamed of our weaknesses or scared of what someone would think if they knew them.
But behind that wall of invincibility is someone who desperately wants to communicate her hurts and vulnerability to someone who understands. This is where you, the seductive therapist, come in.
Women are better and more sensitive communicators than men, so when they find someone who they feel truly cares about their feelings and experiences they open up like a river. Your job is to control the flow of this river and direct it to where you want it to go.
So if you find her past boyfriend dogged her out, ask her, "Why did he do that?" Immediately she will respond with an answer. Whatever the answer is agree with her TOTALLY, and say something like, "I would never do that to a woman."
What this does is give you instant rapport with her and the phrase, "I would never do that to a woman" is understood by her to mean, "I would never do that to you!"
What you are beginning to do is make her not only trust you, because you are in rapport, but she also begins to put you in the position of being the anti-venom to her last boyfriend's snake bite. You will start to become the hero and the voice of reason in her confusing troubled past.
As you continue to ask her open-ended questions that will expose her vulnerabilities, she will give you clues as to what kind of guys she typically falls for. When she does this, you begin to model their pattern of behavior.
If they were control freaks, you work to control her in a subtler manner. Tell her when to call and if she doesn't call you temporarily act upset. If he was sensitive and mushy act this way too, if you can stand it.
Modeling will identify you in her mind with her past lovers and at the same time give you the advantage over them by being seen as the hero for listening to her and giving her guidance.
As you can see the key is to listen closely to everything that she tells you, especially if she talks about her father or primary male figure in her life. When she talks about him identify the major characteristics. She will either seek these characteristics out in her lovers or else seek the exact opposite.
You should know which ones she seeks because of the conversations you have had already about her past lovers. Once again, model these.
If you are good, you should be able to have her so opened up to you and identifying you as the hero with past lover qualities, that she should be so anxious to be intimate with you that she can't stand it.
I gave you the basics of what to do, so now let me tell you why others fail.
1) They don't listen and watch for the correct things that they should model from her past experience with lovers or primary male figures.
2) They don't know how to ask open-ended question and keep the girl talking, so enough information is never gained to determine her weaknesses.
3) You talk too much. Shut up, she doesn't care to hear your problems unless you use them to help her with hers.
4) You are too passive and don't take the aggressive, 'savoir' role in helping her GENTLY with her problems.
5) This is the most important one so read slowly! You don't keep a sexual edge about your conversations. This is the MOST important, because if you don't make it clear throughout all of your "counseling sessions" she will only identify you as a friend.
This is where others who have tried this technique usually fail. There is never a sexual undercurrent anchored with the counseling and problem solving so she never identifies your desire for sex with her desire to have someone care about her problems. As a result you simply become another shoulder to cry upon.
I know this may seem like a complex and difficult formula, but in conclusion let me give you the benefits from first-hand experience.
A. You will have her wrapped around your finger because she will view you as her lifeline and hero. This means she will do anything to keep you, from buying you stuff, to cooking for you, etc.
And B. When you break up, after the initial anguish of the separation, there will always be the potential for a quick hookup again. All you have to do is become her therapist once more.
So give it a try if you want to experiment with a new technique. I think you might be pleasantly surprised!