Occasionally, I will direct a question to the female subscribers in certain issues of The Don Juan Newsletter... help us "clueless" guys out a little so to speak. Here's what they have to say....
What's the Worst Date You've Ever Been On?
About four years ago I went on a really bad date. Trent, a guy I knew very casually, called me up and asked if I would like to go to dinner and see a movie. Now although that isn't a very creative or exciting date idea, there is nothing wrong with it...it is a classic date for a reason. The problem was the movie he selected.
He didn't ask if I had any suggestions, and he took me to see the new (at the time) James Bond movie, Golden Eye. The movie had a lot of wild sex scenes and masochism. The levels in the movie were not to the point of being offensive, but they made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't know Trent all that well, and every time one of those scenes came on, I could feel my cheeks burning and I wanted nothing more than to be somewhere else...with someone else.
Guys, if you are going the movie route, please do your research. Find out. from female friends if possible, if it would be a good first date movie. And ask the girl if she has any suggestions. FYI- this date was not a deal-breaker...Trent and I ended up dating for several months...so there is hope even after a bad date!
My boyfriend at the time had kids from a previous relationship. Something I wasn't too thrilled about, but what nailed his coffin shut was inviting me to his kids first birthday party when we had only gone out twice. Not a good scene to be in the middle of inquiring family members so early in the relationship. Needless to say, I didn't stay with him much longer.
The worst dates are when the man is too opinionated about issues I hold dear. I am a vegetarian, and when the conversation turns toward food, I want him to respect my choice. I know that not many people are vegetarians, and I don't expect my date to be vegetarian, but I DO expect him to NOT try to convert me to eating meat or argue with me about my eating habits. The same goes with religion and politics. The biggest date spoiler is lack of respect for someone you're trying to get to know better.
The worst date...accidental role reversal! I watched college ball during dinner, and he whined and cried that I wasn't paying any attention to him!!
The worst date would have to be one in which the guy could not take his hands and put them in the right spots. I don't have a for sale sign on me and I don't want one. Nice gentleness means so much more. Sex on the first date is not mandatory. If it is given, be nice. One night stands are not very wonderful, unless that is just what you both want. You need to make yourselves clear from the start. If you aren't going to call again, tell us.
Without a doubt, one of the worst dates I've ever had was the guy, a few weeks ago, who spent 3 hours discussing the technical minutiae of computer installation. I got lost after the first five minutes, couldn't ask any questions because I didn't have a clue what he was saying, just kept saying "mmhmm", and he decided I was the best conversationalist he'd met in years.
Adding insult to injury, when the date was over, he expected me to pay half. I am willing to go out with a bore a second time, to see if he was just nervous on the first date, but I'm not willing to pay for the privilege of being bored stiff!
The worst date I have ever been on was quite recent. Last Friday, my sweet pea took me to A gas station for dinner! It stunk like smoke and urine, and it was really cheap. To make it worse, I dressed up, because he told me that we were going someplace nice. Halfway through the meal, when Sweet Pea was in the little boy's room, a trucker asked me for my digits! I was shocked and appalled. Sweet Pea and I are still going out, because I still love him. (he smells funny, though. Oh well, I'll buy him cologne...)
Any date directly after he has just broken up with his "latest" ex.
My worst date was one we had to do for a high school project. The idea of the project was to ask different guys out, plan a date, go out, then do an evaluation.
One guy I asked was generally rather the athletic type, so I suggested we could play racquetball, even though personally I'd rather have watched a video.
The guy just said "fine by me" (or something in that vein).
Turns out (from the evaluation), that he would also rather have watched a video.
Two things learned from that: first, get your date to make a suggestion too, and second, if someone asks you out and you aren't exactly thrilled by their idea make a different suggestion yourself, you might be surprised!!