Did You Just Touch My Ass?
I was part of a bridal party for my best mate’s wedding and I knew this pretty hot girl was gonna be there.
She and I made some small talk and lots of joking around. I did my best to look like an idiot by doing my Zoolander "blue steel" pose every time someone asked for a photo. She thought it was funny.
Then during the reception, I was signing the wedding book and she bumped into me while I was standing. I remembered the guy from the movie "A Night at the Roxbury" and said the to her, "Did you just touch my ass?"
She looked at me shocked but started smiling in disbelief. I was in disbelief as well but I had to say something other than the usual "hi" and then the awkward silence.
I said to her, "It’s ok, cause my ass is pretty hot. Here, take a photo of it." She had a camera in her hand - and she did! I then go "I’ll take a photo of yours" and she cracked up laughing and bent her hips sideways to show her ass and gave me her camera. Click! Click!
I then said, I’ll take a proper photo of her and she says "no" and calls someone nearby and asks if we can have a photo together.
During that photo I remembered a post on this site that went to the effect "better to slap her ass and say ’hi toots’ than to have her think you’re too nice and possibly gay." So my hand goes from her hip to a big slap on her left butt cheek and she giggles as the photo is taken.
I called her up today to see if the photos have been developed (good reason as any to make the call). She told me how funny the photos look and she’s never met a guy who loves his own ass as much as me (laughing). And we’re meeting up for lunch on Friday.
She’s threatened me with a $20 cancellation fee if I don’t show up -- so I’ll take that as pretty high interest, right?