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Classic Dating Error: You Talk Too Much

by Anon

A classic error committed by most of us guys is: We finally get the courage to walk up to that lady we fancy. To our surprise, she seems receptive and ready to engage a conversation... and we wind up doing most of the talking!

Yeah, I've done it, like the rest of you. Usually, this is due to nervousness. We are excited that this stranger wants to meet us, our blood pumps a little faster, and we get carried away with ourselves.

The outcome is usually the same every time... the girl tires out and puts an end to the monologue.

After a couple of such missed chances, you start to revise your tactics.

The way around this kind of blunder is to occasionally pay heed to the ambient noise. If, after about ten minutes, the voice heard about has been exclusively your own, it's high time to start searching for topics or activities that the lady might have interests in, and asking her about them.

No one can listen to you continuously for more than a couple of minutes, at most. Your introductory monologue must shift, as quickly as possible, into a dialogue. Asking questions is the way to bring this about, but it's risky, of course.

Where curiosity ends and prodding begins depends on the kind of lady you're talking to. But I think there are some general borders that you can skirt, without crossing them, to keep a conversation moving and enjoyable:

* If you don't know what sort of questions to ask, listen very carefully to the questions the lady is asking YOU.

I have never met a woman who, within a matter of minutes, was not trying to get a take on me. And they always would attempt this by casually asking questions about me... nothing very personal... always general in nature. "What kind of job do you have? Are you a busy-body or not? Do you have interests in your life? Where are you from?" Etc. And they are always asked in an unintrusive manner.

* Sure, the lady's trying to size you up this way, but you should go ahead and throw the ball back. Try to size HER up as well. And use her own approach to do this.

The fact is, a woman who accepts to chat with you this informally is not likely to mind your attempt to get to know her. Try to find out a few things about her, in as informal a manner as she is trying it with you. She won't mind... since you're merely indicating that you are interested in her. And this is one thing she won't be able to tell if you subject her to a monologue.