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No More Mr. Nice Guy

by Mr. Nice Guy

Love is like the board game Monopoly. Certain rules must be followed, a little bit of luck is involved, and someone is always cheating. Most importantly, it is a game, and in order to win, you must play it and play it well.

Being a nice guy, I'm sure you feel a bit awkward playing games with the women you meet. It is not in your nature. You feel dishonest, disrespectful, and at times, down right mean. But these are the types of guys chicks dig, and if you plan on ever spending an evening at the hotel on Park Place, you had better start stealing money from the banker.

Sure every now and then you will get a lucky roll of the dice and land on free parking, but in order to be truly successful, one must develop a strategy. Listed below, you will find 10 behaviors nice guys can display in order to make themselves more appealing to the women they seek. Implement any or all of these behaviors into your everyday personality and watch the women flock to you like ants to a fallen Dorito. Be careful though; the results may be hazardous to your bedsprings.


1. The take away method.

Once a woman has gotten a taste of you, kindly excuse yourself. Always leave her wanting more of you. Here is a simple little tip. When you first meet her, pretend to forget her name. She will be dying to leave a lasting impression on you so you never forget her name again.


2. Flirt with other women and make sure she sees it.

Women want men who are wanted by other women. This is a fact. Women are very competitive and will see you as the ultimate prize if she is competing for your affection. Also, she will quickly realize the need to snatch you up before someone else does. While using other women like this may seem cruel, never feel guilty. Trust me, you won't be giving it a second thought when the object of your desire is tearing off your shorts.


3. Confidence is key.

This is a no brainer. If you act like a loser, you will feel like a loser and in turn women will see you as a loser. You will never get laid this way. You will truly be a loser.


4. Be charming.

At social gatherings, and especially around her friends, become the center of attention. If she sees that other people like to be around you, she is likely to want to be around you also. She will want to see what all the fuss is about.


5. Shut the hell up.

People become more interesting the moment they close their mouths. And for women, half the fun is the challenge of figuring you out.


6. Avoid serious conversations at all costs.

Scott Weiland said it best. Conversations kill. Believe it or not, women are just as scared off by these conversations as men. Maybe even more so considering they don't expect men to be willing to talk about serious relationship stuff. Besides, they are always right anyway so why bother?


7. Intimidate her.

Always look her in the eye until she looks away first. This is the same technique experts use to train dogs to be obedient. This also turns women on. But hold back on showing her physical affection. The longer you make her wait, the more she will want it.


8. Do something wrong.

Drink, smoke, drive a fast car; anything that she will think is exciting, adventurous, and/or intriguing. Remember James Dean? Just imagine how much poon you would get if you were more like him.


9. Choose your friends over her.

This is one of my personal favorites. The whole time you are out with your friends, she will be out with her girlfriends telling them what a jerk you are. (Unless she's out cheating on you.) But when you finally do see her again, it will be like conjugal visit day at the county prison.


10. Never, ever I mean NEVER let her know how strongly you feel for her.

I don't care if you think God has sent her just for you and you want to marry her today, never let her know that. The minute she knows you have deep feelings for her, her challenge is over. She won. She got you and her fun is over.

I compare it to fishing. You sit all day with your bait in the water and when you finally catch a fish, what do you do? You throw it back in the water. Believe me, the minute she catches you hook, line, and sinker, it's back in the drink for you.

Mr. Nice Guy
misterash@aol.com