Breaking Up Is an Essential Part of Many Relationships
Sometimes, the only way to get the girl is to handle a breakup properly.
Women love to test men. One of these tests is the breakup test.
I recently heard a story from a married couple that illustrates this point perfectly. For the sake of ease, I’ll call them Peter and Valerie.
Peter and Valerie were living in Europe and were co-workers. Valerie had been living with a guy who she claims was just a platonic roommate. One day, the roommate moved away to Greece, leaving her alone. Shortly afterwards, she began dating Peter quietly to minimize office gossip.
They’d been dating for a few months and, as she tells it, she didn’t know how she felt about him (typical female state of mind). A few months later her ex-roommate, now in Greece, sent her a letter telling her that he was in love with her, but couldn’t tell her when they were roommates, and if she felt the same way, that she should move to Greece so they could be together.
This caused her some problems. She wasn’t in love with this guy, and she realized that she’d been stringing him along when they were together. Not wanting to be guilty of that twice, she broke up with Peter because she didn’t want to hurt him or string him along when she didn’t know what she wanted.
(Women LOVE to claim that they don’t know what they want, because it allows them to then do whatever they want, whenever they want, to whomever they want.)
Now here’s the important part. Peter said "Ok", and immediately moved on.
He didn’t whine or beg or allow it to bother him.
Women have a hard time with this kind of behavior because it hurts their ego, but at the same time, it makes them feel safe because they need to know that they can leave a relationship if they want to without drama. Once they feel safe, if they like you, they won’t want to leave.
So, after a couple of weeks, she began to feel like she made a mistake. She went to Peter and told him that she realized something: in order to find love, you need to take risks. She said she’d made a mistake by breaking up with him and she wanted to try and make their relationship work.
Now, here’s the brilliant part.
He told her that he was disappointed when they broke up because he felt that they had a lot in common and had a chance for something great. But, he didn’t want to put himself through getting his hopes up again only to have to deal with her emotional uncertainty and have her break up with him again. He told her that he had moved on, that he was dating other women.
She didn’t like this very much and told him so. So he asked her to GIVE HIM THREE DAYS to decide if he was willing to take a chance on her again. And every day for three days she’d come to his office and ask him if he’d decided yet. He made her wait the full three days before deciding.
I LOVE this story. I’ve been broken up on and have handled it badly... we’ve all been down that road and we all know that there’s nothing but misery and the loss of self-respect at the end of it.
When people are dating, they build up resistances to each other. They’re annoyed by this or that, they don’t know how they feel about each other, etc. Breaking up clears away those resistances and makes room for people to decide if they really love each other or not.
When a girl breaks up with you, rejoice! Unless she hates you, which most often is not the case, she’s testing you. Pass this test by handling it LIKE A MAN and you’ll really get the girl, and if you don’t, then she was never yours to begin with.