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My Formula for Approaching Women

by Todd Hall

We've all got mates who for some reason or another never approach women. They reel off cop-out lines like, "If only she would talk to me, then I'd be fine." Wake up, boys. Women don't want a wuss who doesn't have the confidence to make the first move.

Here's a little secret: even though a girl won't make the first OBVIOUS move, she is creating signals from the first time you lay eyes on her. Believe me, you will feel a lot more confident approaching women who have given the 'five correct signals'.

Now these go in order, screw them up & you may be trying to run before you walk:

1) Eye contact:

This one is easy. Let a girl know you're interested by making eye contact with her, even from across the room.

If you're closer, look for movement in her pupils, this will indicate sexual attraction. If a girl makes eye contact, looks away, & then looks back within 30 seconds, this is a good signal.

2) Acknowledgement:

This can be a very subtle clue. You want to express that you've acknowledged her as one of the lucky ladies on the night. It can be a smile, a slight nod, whatever, just don't look corny. Keep an eye out for her sheepishly smiling at you.

3) Contact:

Now this is where most will freeze up. But if you have successfully read the above signals, you should feel assured that she will respond positively. Try to avoid stupid corny one liners; I usually just go up & introduce myself.

4) The Brush:

Now you've got her talking & (hopefully) laughing, watch her body language. Obvious playing with the hair, touch up of the make-up, legs crossed towards you will further indicate her approval.

Try to brush up against her with you hand in the small of her back when walking though a crowd, a shoulder across her chest, etc. Just make sure it's classy & appropriate to the occasion.

5) Future Date:

Now that you've read all the signals & know she is interested, it's time to get confirmation. You can do this many ways, i.e. ask for her number, drop that you are seeing a concert next week, ask what type of movies she likes. If you do this like a true professional, you will be able to sense a knock-back before directly asking her out.

Now remember:

  • Eye contact
  • Acknowledgement
  • Contact
  • The Brush
  • Future Date

EACTF: It's no coincidence that ACT is in the middle. If you don't ACT, nothing will ever happen for you!

I would also suggest that once you have her number, you disappear into the crowd. Nothing is more excruciating to watch then someone who's just struck gold, only to dig right past & cover it back up with too much digging.

Todd Hall
t.hall@richmond.gov.uk