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Getting Girls to Pursue You By Not Being Desperate

by Raymando

I've had two very similar experiences recently, one in business and one in relationships. They both had to do with "having hand" by having a "bird in the hand".

In business, I've been entertaining the thought of looking for a new job. While I am content in my current position, I think I could have more, better, "it all". I started talking to head-hunters, who were impressed with me.

While I came across well in interviews, I think my best asset was that I didn't need a new job, I just wanted one. I wasn't desperate, and it showed. I was even told so. I felt so confident that I even upped my asking salary. In other words, I wasn't selling myself short. And, having a job already or a bird in the hand gave me hand.

In recent relationships, I have found the same thing occurring.

I met a girl, who was from out of town. We had a good couple of fun weeks together. She left and we kept in touch. She became my bird in the hand, which gave me hand. As I continued dating locally, I never had the feeling that the girl I was pursuing was the only girl I could get, because I had a bird in hand.

As a result, I was never desperate or selling myself short. In fact, I actually called off a recent relationship because it wasn't going the way I wanted. This was an historical first for me. I've never dumped anyone before because, of course, I was a nice guy. She actually continued to pursue me because....you guessed it...I had hand.

Looking back, I know that my hand girl was just an illusion. We haven't spoken in a while and I don't know if we will ever see each other again. What I do know is that having her in my hand, and not "two in the bush", gave me hand.

Newbie translation: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" = A girl who you maintain a relationship with and therefore demonstrates that you have value is worth more than simply believing you have value and that there's lots of fish in the sea.