How to Increase Your Success With Women Exponentially - The Magic of Asking for the Sale
Question: Often after I get a woman's number or email address to set up the date, I'm never able to get in touch with her again. I call her and email and never hear back. What can I do?
Answer: The best way to handle this is also the simplest. When you get a woman's phone number and email address, press things just ONE MORE STEP, and set up the time and location for the date RIGHT THEN.
There are several important things you must know, however, for this to really work:
1) Remember, you are only asking her for a "Priming Date."
That is, you are only asking her out for coffee. You are not asking her to go on a vacation with you, or some other big commitment. You are not even asking her to go to an elaborate dinner and a movie. You are only asking her to a brief coffee date that will last 45 minutes to an hour.
Here's What to Say...
When you ask her for her number and email, say something like this:
"Hey, you seem like a cool woman. What would it be like if we got together for coffee sometime? I'm pretty busy lately, but how about we get together for coffee for forty-five minutes or an hour and just get to know each other a little bit?"
Notice how easy you've made it for her to say "yes." You've told her right out that it will take less than an hour, so it's not a big commitment for her.
By asking her for a small commitment, you make it easier for her to say yes, and easier for her to set up the date right then.
What to say next...
After you've asked her out, and gotten her phone and email address, say something like:
"You know, I can be pretty hard to get a hold of, and I know other people can, too. Why don't we set up a time to meet for coffee right now, so we won't have to fit it into our schedules later. How does [time] and [place] for about an hour work for you?"
2) Make the date in a convenient location for you.
There's no benefit to driving an hour in the middle of your workday to wait around for a woman who might not show up.
Any time you have a first date with a woman, there's a risk that she won't show up - especially if she is young and especially hot. That's just part of the game of dating.
It's important that your life work for YOU. When the coffee shop is near your home, at a good time for you, and you can bring something to read or some work to do while you wait for her, your life will work for you whether she shows up or not.
(Hint - See our book and site How to Succeed with Women for tips on how to handle a no-show.)
If you do these things, you should be able to set up the date RIGHT THEN 70%-80% of the time. Doing this also separates out the women who aren't really interested from the "hot prospects" who really ARE interested in being with you romantically.
But let's look deeper, at...
The Real Question
You now know you should set up the date right then, when you first ask a woman for her number. But even after reading this, most men won't.
It does you no good to know what to do, if you won't or can't do it. So the REAL question is, "Why WOULDN'T you set up the date right then?"
What is stopping you from doing it?
What is stopping you from pushing your seductions from one level to the next, and actually having more success with women?
You know this is true, but we'll repeat it anyway: There are a number of moments in a seduction where you, as the man, need to risk rejection in order to show a woman you are interested in her, and to find out if she is interested in you.
The sad fact is, most men are trying to put those moments OFF. This leads to them taking few or no risks. And that slows down or even stops a seduction.
The real reason you may be reluctant to try to set up a date with a woman right when you ask her out is this: You are afraid to risk finding out that she's not interested in you after all.
Most men would rather live in a fantasy world where a woman MIGHT be interested in them, rather than to take the risk of finding out if she really is interested - or that she might not be.
In advertising, this is called "being willing to ask for the sale." Many salespeople fail because they are perfectly happy to give a sales presentation, and perfectly happy to not know if their prospect wants to buy, all the while fantasizing about the great sales they might get, someday.
They never ask for the sale, so they they never have to risk rejection.
But you know what? They rarely get any sales, either.
This is what so many men do with women. They aren't willing to "ask for the sale" every step of the way. They aren't willing to risk finding out that a woman might not be interested. SO THEY NEVER FIND OUT IF SHE IS, and they never make her "commit" to her interest, either. This keeps them in fuzzy relationships with women that never really go anywhere.
Here's a Secret That Can Improve Your Success With Women Exponentially
You must be willing to risk rejection - that is, to "ask for the sale," EVERY STEP OF THE WAY in seducing a woman. If you wait until the first kiss, it's too late. You have to start risking finding out if she's interested or not RIGHT AWAY.
When you can do that, you will be able to sleep with the women YOU desire, rather than sleeping with the women who choose you - if any do.
At every stage of the seduction there is an "asking for the sale" that you could be doing. If you are NOT doing it, then you are NOT seducing, so don't kid yourself. You're creating another woman in your life who you are uncertain if she likes you or not. And that's BAD.
When you first talk to a woman, showing your romantic interest by complimenting her is "asking for the sale."
She either has to accept your interest - thus making you a potential lover - or reject it, thus knocking you out of the game right away. Either way you are creating certainty, and either way it's better than being in some fuzzy, "I don't know if we are dating or not" zone.
When you show your romantic interest by doing the Flirting Moves with a woman, you are again "asking for the sale," because, once again, she either has to accept your flirting - and think of you as someone she flirts with - or reject it. Once again, either way you have certainty.
Every step of the way, you have to be willing to create certainty by "asking for the sale."
- when you flirt
- when you show curiosity
- when you ask her out
- when you touch her for the first time
- when you go for the first kiss
- when you set up and do the seduction date
- and so on
Every step of the way, you MUST be willing to get certainty that she is into you, before you move on.
If you hear "no" a lot from women when you ask them out, or if you ask them out but they never call/email you back, OR if you never get up the nerve to actually ASK, that's probably because you haven't been "asking for the sale" and building a sense of certainty from the start.
You've been putting off potential rejection, so you haven't been building any certainty of your connection. It's been fuzzy, so naturally she is unpredictable and unreliable in her responses to you. You end up asking out a woman who is probably not interested in you.
Asking For the Sale Is the Solution
If you've been "asking for the sale" each step of the way, you've eliminated women who aren't interested in you, and are almost exclusively asking out women who ARE INTERESTED IN YOU ROMANTICALLY. So your chances of success are immediately much, much better.
When you go out to coffee with that woman, you will know that she is romantically interested in you, and she will know that you are in her. She will be okay with it, or she would have said "no" to the "sale" in your initial conversations with her.
When you go for that first kiss, she will be expecting it, and looking forward to it. It won't be very risky because she's said "yes" to "the sale" every time you risked showing your romantic interest. Therefore you can get that first kiss - and more - with ease.
Best of luck!