posted 08-27-2001 01:28 AM
While I'm posting my thoughts...
To me, there are a few defining, fundamental characteristics that a true Don Juan must possess. If you can attain these traits, then you can achieve anything. Essentially, the things that I am going to list can be seen as building blocks to something greater, they are useful and necessary in themselves, but what you can achieve with building upon them...
Firstly, being a Don Juan is not about memorizing lines, the 'rules' of when to call, when to compliment, etc. It is about the right attitude and frame of mind. It is about having confidence in everything you do, understanding people and succeeding (eventually) in all you do.
So, what characteristics do I see as fundamental? Patience, perserverence and confidence.
1. Patience. Patience is important quite simply because everything takes time. If you are learning a new skill (e.g. 'Don Juaning') then it will take time to learn, you cannot expect results overnight. If you do expect immediate results, you will quit when you don't get them. Also, when dealing with women, impatience might be interpreted as desperation or pushiness under certain circumstances. Therefore, maintain a calm demeanor through great patience and you will succeed.
How do you build patience? Recognise impatient thoughts and cut them off. When you are waiting in line, don't tap your fingers and check your watch every two minutes, realise that you will have to wait and accept it. Enjoy the scenery, talk to people around you and think about things. Basically, work on enjoying every minute of life, even if you are not doing something that you like. You just have to control your thoughts and not dwell on a situation (e.g. waiting) that you cannot change.
2. Perserverence - this is closely related to patience and is the most important step on your way to building confidence. What advice comes up again and again in these posts? Practice. Try again and again until you succeed, get back up after failing and give it another go. Plain old stubborness will get you where you want to go. Eventually. As you can see, patience is an integral part of perserverence, so work on the patience and the perserverence together.
The only advice I can give for perserverence is to not let failure get to you, know that if you keep trying, you will succeed. Learn from failure, but don't consider it a failure, at least you tried.
3. Confidence. This is the big one. However, to gain the confidence necessary to succeed, you will need to practice and not get discouraged. You will have to work with your own shortcomings and the differences in people around you. You must be prepared to take risks and fail sometimes. Essentially, you need to have great patience and perserverence in everything you do.
Confidence comes from practice, it is as simple as that. There are other techniques to help out, but nothing subsitutes getting your hands dirty in the real world.
Once you have become a master at maintaining these elements, then you can work on all of the techniques listed on this site (or make up your own).
Another couple of things that are important in building up these characteristics is being able to make reasonable goals and taking small steps towards these goals.
Goals are important because they give you something clear to work towards. They must be reasonable; if they are too low, you are not challenging yourself or making progress; if they are too high, you may become discouraged as you cannot achieve them; they must be specific, something you can solidly achieve. In this way, you can take small steps that, when put together, take you to where you want to go. Don't expect to go from beginner Don Juan to expert Don Juan overnight. Take small steps like smiling at every woman before attempting to take every woman home.
Anyway, these are what I consider the building blocks to a successful love life and a successful life. They are all linked together. Incorporate these traits into your personality and you cannot possibly fail!