posted 08-29-2001 05:12 PM
Hello Don Juans and those who aspire to be such,I�d like to thank all those who have been so kind as to bestow their knowledge upon us including: Pook, REd-xL, Neophyte, Adonis, terminator911, CHALENGEGUY, Pimpologist, bondjamesbond, and many others. Your contributions to this site are awesome! Even more so when you follow up on your posts by helping those who misunderstand, adding even more insight. Your posts are like food for the starving. They feed those who need it most. I believe there are many, many readers that benefit from your posts. Many who have never spoken up because they have never acquired the necessary experience to add anything meaningful to a thread. I would be one of those. I wish I could make great contributions like Pook, but I lack the experience required to make those discoveries.
I have made some important discoveries in my life, but lack those involving women. My greatest discovery is the fact that we must experience to learn! Even simple stuff requires experience. For example, a couple of months ago I connected my car amplifier to my subwoofers incorrectly and listened to them like that for awhile. I knew they had to be hooked up a certain way, but found that they played either way I connected them. One day I got the urge to play the stereo super loud, almost blowing up a $500 amplifier. It turns out the connection doesn�t matter much at low volumes, but turn it up and bad things happen. This is a mistake I�ll never make again! The same goes with women, once you make a big mistake you�ll most likely remember it and grow from the experience learning how life works.
Recently I�ve taken inventory and reviewed all the posts and articles I�ve printed from this site and many others on shyness and typical Don Juan techniques. I was surprised by the amount of material I had covering shyness. This reminded me of what REd-xL wrote in Trouble with Women? �BOMBSHELL WARNING: Any techniques you learn or read about are nothing more than a placebo.� I�ve learned this is so true. I�ve read and read hoping to learn the secret that would motivate me to approach women without hesitation. I�m afraid to admit I don�t think there is such a secret. Each time I get in a situation where I can exhibit my newly learned skills, I resort to inaction. Probably the best and most useful advice for the approach is also Adonis�s motto �JUST DO IT.� Once you�ve committed yourself to the approach then you can reflect on the Don Juan skills you�ve discovered here at SoSuave.com.
In addition, I�ve realized that my difficulty with approaching women is not limited to women. I�m reserved about meeting anyone outside of my friends friends or people at work. I didn�t know this before because I never had any interest in meeting strangers that happened to be men. My only focus was meeting some fine ladies and I was disappointed by how hard it was for me. At any rate if anyone reading this fits this description, I suggest backing up a step and practicing basic social skills first. Talk to everyone! It�s not only beautiful women who like to be heard or smiled at. Make it your goal to find something the other person is passionate about and the conversation will flow! Not to mention, you�ve made a new acquaintance who you might just run into again. It�s a great feeling to actually know the people who you see around town from time to time. Read the book by Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People. Mr. Carnegie gives ample examples of how eager people are to tell you about themselves and their passions. Remember the times when people showed genuine interest in you and asked you about yourself? How did you feel? Did you open up? Did it hurt you to respond to their questions? Chances are you suddenly liked that person a little more and were happy to be discussing your interests.
I�m currently helping a friend who is even more reserved than I am. She believes that everyone wants to keep a lid on their personal life. True there is a limit, but it�s greater than you might think. If you get slapped you�ve probably went to far 
Of Course I have another friend who naturally says stuff just to see how the other person will respond. For example, he came to town about a month ago and we decided to go to Yesterday�s to play pool. My friend spots one of the waitresses sweeping underneath some pool tables and goes up to her telling her, �You know it sucks to be you. Here I am drinking a beer, smoking a cigar, playing pool, and having a good time and there you are sweeping the floor!� The waitress gave him a great big grin over that comment. To another girl we met he told her why he liked tall girls. He said, �Yeah that�s what I like about tall girls, they�ve got legs all the way up to their ass!� Then he pointed out the fact that she fit this category perfectly. 
Perhaps these aren�t the best examples, but I hope to act with this little self-awareness some day. My friend is extremely fun to be around for the simple reason that he doesn't care what others think of him. What you see is what you get. Yet he is always concious of the other person's feeling, careful not to insult him or her. Anyway I digress, once you improve your social skills you�ll never want to go back! It might seem hard in the beginning, but please don�t be discouraged. Soon you�ll rejoice in the ease of being friendly with everyone you encounter and will be putting everything you�ve learned here to use!
Okay I believe I�ve said enough. Once again thanks to all those who make this forum unique!
Special thanks to Neophyte for taking the time to make the DJ Bible. It�s extremely useful!
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"If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you" T.S. Eliot
"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood" Ralph Waldo Emerson
[This message has been edited by CobraGT (edited 09-01-2001).]
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posted 08-29-2001 05:12 PM
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