Welcome - I am glad you are here.

Since 1998, SoSuave has been offering only the best tips on how to meet, date and attract incredible women. If this is your first visit I would suggest you start here.


  Don Juan Discussion Forum
  Don Juan Tips
  Six tests a woman must pass ...

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Six tests a woman must pass ...
Poosy Marauder

Don Juan
posted 09-08-2001 06:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Poosy Marauder     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When you meet a woman and build a relationship (to what ever extent you want) there are a serious of critical tests that she has to be put through and your objective as a DJ is to administer those tests as smoothly as possible. If she's right for you she'll pass each stage.

Test #1. The Eye Contact
You lock eyes, smile and say hello.
If she doesn't respond in a receptive way she's failed the first test. Move on.

If she does respond positively but is a 9 or 10 knock out babe, you will definately still need to use some neg hits. Tricky tactic to master so do some research here and practice them thoroughly first.

Test #2. The Digits
After a suitable amount of small talk (timing is important - I aim for about 10mins ) you say "Listen I have to leave now but you should give me your home number so we can talk some more some other time"

Some DJ's are sticklers for the home number, personally I think cell phones are OK. Work phones are not OK unless she doesn't have either of the above. Email and ICQ addresses are not OK unless she is foreign and does not speak English well.

If she fails this test. Move on.

Test #3. The Phone Call
Opinions differ on the mandatory waiting period but I say 3 or 4 days max. No more if you can help it and definately no less.
Your objective here is NOT to get to know her better..it's to set up a face to face date. Don't talk too long. 10 minutes will do. Warm her up with a bit of humour then TELL HER what you have in mind. NEVER let her take control and tell you what the two of you should do. Your the man. Take charge.

Say something like "What do you have going on this weekend?...oh really, so you're free Sunday afternoon then?....great well listen I have to go now but I think we should get together at xxxx at around xxxx for a coffee so we can catch up some more. That sounds good to you doesn't it?"

This is what sales people call "closing" . You make a statement about something, make it sound good, then say "that sounds good to you doesn't it?". You've just made your proposition sound appealing that to respond negatively would seem ludicrous. Read some books on selling if you want to find out more.

Also , I am reluctant to leave messages on women's voicemail. Better to keep trying until you get them.

If she doesn't respond positively on the first call she fails this test. Move on.


Test #4 The Date
First date should be VERY casual...coffee is perfect. NO dinners. NO drinking (OK maybe one or two). And for FARK sake no flowers or gifts!!! NO hugging or smooching cheeks, thats for your Grandma.

NO giving away any unsolicited information if you can help and definately no negative info about yourself or anything for that matter. Positive, positive, positive opinions unless your sure its something she shares a negative opinion on. Even then it might be a trap so I wouldn't go there.

DO use Kino, DO use lots of eye contact, orientate your body towards her, move in and out of her personal space, mirror her body language, elicit values, rephrase and repeat what she says..ABOVE all else listen to what she says. The old saying is, it's not what you say but what you HEAR that matters.

Don't drag things on too long, objective here is to get her to trust you and realise your not an axe murderer. Secondary objective is to make her wonder about what makes you tick. The common mistake guys make on a first date is to think they have to give the woman a complete autobiography starting from the time they were six years old. Wrong. She will have a kind of vague idea of the qualities she is looking for in a potential Prince Charming and in the abscence of anything concrete to go on she will assume you more or less fit most of those criteria. If she didn't you wouldn't have got this far already. It's only by shooting our mouth off that we give her the information she needs to disqualify us from the role.

Look good, smell good, act confident, BE a mystery. Let her think you have a busy life and she will need to compete with your other interests to get into it. This is called CHALLENGE.

Talking ratio should be 70% her, 30% you.

If she cancels the date without a reasonable excuse or offering an alternative time, or if she acts weird or disrespectful on the date she has failed the test. Move on.

For dates 2 and/or 3 try to up the excitement levels a bit and do something involving some sort of action or activity. Use the search function to get some ideas.

Test #5. The Kiss
Sometime on the first or second date you need to go for some lip action. Doesn't have to be tongues but just enough to let her know your not hanging out just to be friends. Do a little kino to warm her up and then slooowwly move in for it. She'll know what your doing. NEVER ask a girl if you can kiss her. Thats for nice guys and we all hate nice guys here..right?

If she pulls away she fails this test. Move on.

Test #6 Horizontal Rumba Baby!
By about 3 or 4 dates she should be as ready as she'll ever be to decide if you are shagging material or not. If she gives you some lame excuse like "I'm just not sure of my feelings" she fails the test. Move on.

It's up to you if you want to put in more time on Test #6 but I think if she's not giving it up after 3 or 4 dates your being played for a sucker. Only acceptable excuses here are if she is quite young ie.16 and under or if she is a virgin (not many of those around these days ).

ABOUT EXCLUSIVITY...
This one may not be ideal for every DJ but I think most of us are here to eventually get an LTR (Long Term Relationship). After about 3 months SHE should have said something to the effect of wanting an exclusive physical relationship with you. NEVER be the one to ask for it, it has to come from her.
Its like the game of chicken. If you blink first you will lose.

NEVER,NEVER,NEVER be the first one to say "I love you". Show it to her with actions, not words. Little gifts are fine after the first 2 months. Don't over do it and DONT be predictable about anything.

If you've got this far you would have realised that you can't be a door mat (e.g. running to the shop for her etc at her beck and call).

I recommend being unpredicatable at every opportunity. Pull away from her at times for no apparent reason then come back and do something nice for no apparent reason. Be an enigma.

That's all I can think of for now.

Good luck, and remember its not your job to prove yourself to a woman, its your job to administer the tests smoothly and help her to pass them.

[This message has been edited by Poosy Marauder (edited 09-08-2001).]

IP: 144.138.80.181

Shiftkey

Master Don Juan
posted 09-09-2001 03:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shiftkey     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"NO hugging or smooching cheeks, thats for your Grandma."

What's wrong with hugging on the first date? Hugging is great kino (and a good way for her to feel your stuff ). There is a difference between hugging a girl and hugging your grandma.

IP: 216.249.91.151

Poosy Marauder

Don Juan
posted 09-09-2001 05:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Poosy Marauder     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

The problem I have with hugging is that it is an act which you perform with

A. Someone you are already intimate with or
B. Someone you know in a non-sexual way e.g. a friend or relative.

Since you have only just met the girl you are clearly not in category A yet so by default you are giving signals that you think of her as category B.

Once you get some lip action and define what kind of relationship you want, you can relax the no hugging rule.

IP: 144.138.87.124

rasta

Don Juan
posted 09-09-2001 06:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rasta   Click Here to Email rasta     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
this one was a good post. I recommend also to relax the tension somehow.If there is too much tension u might wanna kiss on the first date. However tension might come from the fact she doesnt like you wich is bad. Kissing is always good and alike the game sims it gives her like at least a 10% relationship amelioration if u kiss well and pasionnate. Kissing always works to a certain extinct unless she pushes you away.
When i go to dance clubz i always sorta bring the girl to the lounge and get into the passionate stuff.Is that good ? Cuz i gett ****en bored of the gay ass dancin and i sweat alot even if i get touchin a lot ass tits etc .

IP: 172.173.64.43

rasta

Don Juan
posted 09-09-2001 06:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rasta   Click Here to Email rasta     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
possy u really use the 'hi!' method so much?
I mean many many girls will just pass on by no matter how hot you look and how good you smell. Plus many girls are shy and relunctant to engage conversations especially with plp one the street.If you are hot or u look like a psycho( **** i do both, like titter than giovanni ribisi somewhat resssembling to him ) they are even more shy .Plus they are slow it usually takes them minutes to talk with their friends before approching me.

If you exchange more than "hi".She might become less indifferent. Myself i recommend like talking at least two phrases or three before you can properly decipher her interest in you.
I agree with the phone number thing.I also add call once or if she is not home get at time that she is probably home . I do not recommend calling more than twice.
Dont dont ever leave messages on her answering machine unless like " she's the one":
1) It makes you look like you are not in control.
2)Well im just not confortable with plp knowing my phone number or listening to messages by me or knowing to much stuff about me if the are unthrutfull.

IP: 172.173.64.43

Poosy Marauder

Don Juan
posted 09-09-2001 08:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Poosy Marauder     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Rasta
You may have misinterpretted my point.
You use the eye contact / smile / "hi" to see what kind of reaction you get.

If its good then you move in for a brief convo with the aim of getting the digits.

If its a bad reaction you know not to waste your time.

IP: 144.138.80.214

Freestyler

Master Don Juan
posted 09-09-2001 09:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Freestyler   Click Here to Email Freestyler     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I like that idea you are trying to show. I think it's great when you think of the Game in that way ''that you are not the one who is trying to impress them but you just test them in order to see who is the best one of you'' Than the attitude of the ''Charming Prince''!
P>S This message should be in the tips section.

IP: 62.103.224.67

Drew

Moderator
posted 09-09-2001 02:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Drew     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moving to Tips.

IP: 24.10.191.34

Lord of the Pants

Don Juan
posted 09-19-2001 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lord of the Pants   Click Here to Email Lord of the Pants     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I tend to disagree with the part on #3 about asking what she has going on for the weekend. Let's say she has a busy weekend, and after you ask, she tells you all her plans. She just obligated herself to you, not to go out with you. However, if you just ask her out, and not mention whether or not she has plans, she may cancel them for you. Also, if she has absolutely nothing going on, she may feel kind of dumb telling you that she has no life and her weekends are spent alone watching network television and relacing all her shoes. So personally, I think it's better just to ask the lady out, instead of asking her, essentially, if she has some free time. That's my 3 cents.

IP: 65.161.249.87

Poosy Marauder

Don Juan
posted 09-19-2001 05:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Poosy Marauder     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

LOTP.

In my experience very few women will cancel their weekend plans for the sake of a first date. Better to find where she has spare time and then put a proposal to her. If she turns you down at least you know what the score is for certain.

As for making her feel embarresed
1. Who cares?
2. Are you saying women are of incapable of making up some bullshyt to save face?? We all know the answer to that one.

IP: 144.138.78.149

Lord of the Pants

Don Juan
posted 09-19-2001 11:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lord of the Pants   Click Here to Email Lord of the Pants     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess I forgot to finish that. If she doesn't have any plans for the weekend, asking her may tempt her to make something up. But I do see your point too Poosy.

IP: 65.161.249.84

Reality

Don Juan
posted 09-20-2001 02:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Reality   Click Here to Email Reality     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with this post on the most part. However, I just wanted to focus on one thing which is the hardest thing of course! LOL! If all you men out there waited for her to say the words "I love you", you might be waiting a LONG,LONG time! Don't forget that women are very insecure but also can possess a great deal of patience! We are just as afraid of saying those three little words as men are. Believe me, I know, I waited 7 months to hear it from my BF who is now my husband. Those three little words can shift the balance of power in a relationship and both genders know it-it's a tug of war.

IP: 165.247.225.95

All times are ET (US)

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | The Don Juan Center

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.45b