posted 02-27-2002 10:16 PM
Pimpology 101: Assumptive Questioning � Part I
When talking to women, it�s a given that asking a majority of open ended questions will inevitably cause them to speak a great deal more than if you were to ask a majority of closed ended questions. The more opportunities they get to speak, the easier it becomes for them to express themselves, both verbally by speaking more and physically by performing kino (physical contact).
For those who are unfamiliar with the terms �open-ended� and �closed-ended� questions, here is a quick run down�
- Question that cannot be answered with either �yes� or �no�
- Usual words used to start out the question are �who, what, where, when, how, why, etc�
- Question that can only be answered with either �yes� or �no�
- Usual words used to start out the question are �do, can, did, are, have, �etc�
Do you like to <verb>?
Can you/your <noun and/or verb>?
Did you/your <noun and/or verb>?
Are you able to <verb>?
Have you ever <verb>?
Although open-ended questions usually generate more of a response, it does not always create the desired effect of making them willingly talk more about the subject without an almost equal amount of follow-up questioning on your part.
There are times when you ask an open-ended question and you receive a one-word answer, which is of no more help than asking a one-word answer closed-ended question.
For example, say you asked her what type of music she likes to listen to and she simply answers with, �R&B�. This is equivalent to a closed�ended question asking her if she liked R&B. However, if it were used in conjunction with open-ended questions, it would be an effective combo.
Using a combination of open and closed ended questions�
Both types of questions have their advantages, so employing a mixture of open-ended and closed-ended questions in your conversations is the best method. Sometimes it�s best to start out with a closed-ended question in order to lead you into an open-ended one. Here�s an example�
You: Do you like to ski? <---Closed ended
You: When�s the last time you went skiing? <---Open ended
Her: Last winter. (She also might decide to throw in a few more pieces of information for you to follow up on like where she went, how long she stayed, how often she goes, etc.)
Now is a good opportunity for you to experience and/or preference relate and follow-up with either an open or closed-ended question, depending on the direction you want to lead the conversation. Keeping control of the conversation should always be your number one priority.
When women answer �no� to �Do you like� questions, one of the best open-ended questions to follow-up with is �Why not�. They�ll usually tell you why but if they answer with �I don�t know�, a good response is something along the lines of, �You should try it sometime�.
As you can see, closed-ended questions are not so bad after all. In some cases, they prove to be very useful. In the above case, the closed-ended question was used to smoothly bring up the topic of skiing. Once rapport on a subject starts to develop, closed-ended questions can be used as �filler� questions, or as a ways to change the subject. For example if you wanted to change the subject and start asking about her friends, one way you can do it is by asking, �Did your friends go with you too?� (Closed-ended)
Questioning in the form of statements�
Now that you know the importance and some of the advantages of both open and closed-ended questions, you will be able to appreciate the fact that there is a way to �ask� a question that is both open and closed ended without actually �asking�. This is accomplished through the use of Assumptive Questioning.
Assumptive questioning is asking questions in the form of statements that imply a variety of questions, both open and closed ended, that not only give you openings to compliment and neg-hit but also give women the chance to talk about what they feel comfortable about.
The advantages of letting her decide how she wants to answer your assumptive question is that you�re able to find out what she thinks is important to her, what types of questions she prefers answering, what she likes to talk about, and an overall understanding of her personality traits and how she thinks without having to actually �ask� her.
Here are a couple examples of assumptive questioning to get you familiar with the fundamentals of the tactic. These particular examples purposely lead into talking about her body and looks and give you clear opportunities to compliment or neg-hit when she�s most vulnerable.
You: You must like to exercise a lot.
Do you exercise? Do you like to exercise?
How often do you exercise?
What do you do to keep in shape?
Why do you look so good?
You: I bet you like going to the beach.
Do you ever go to the beach?
Do you like going to the beach?
How do you spend your free time?
Where do you like going?