posted 03-31-2002 04:07 AM               

Compliments are a must for your DJ arsenal. The keys are timing and sincerity.

---Timing---

For a compliment to have good timing, it must seem spontaneous. For example, you don't want to tell a girl that she has beautiful eyes while she is looking away. This is a no-brainer; you tell her this while you two are staring into eachother's eyes for a little longer than normal.

---Sincerity---

Once again, for a compliment to work, it must seem sincere. (Of course, it helps if it really is sincere!) So how do you use a cliche compliment like "you have beautiful eyes" with sincerity? It all depends on emphasis of words.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "It's not what you say, but how you say it?" Here's a perfect example. Try saying "You have beautiful eyes" in a monotone voice, that is, keeping all the words at the same tone. Doesn't sound very sincere, does it? Now try saying it while emphasizing the words "you" and "eyes". Notice the difference? Not only does it sound sincere, but it makes her feel as if she is the only girl in the world with beautiful eyes!

When complimenting, do not dwell strictly on the physical aspects of women. It's ok to tell them what you think of them as a human being, i.e, compliment their personality. This can lead to a whole conversation where the subject is "her". (This is what you're aiming for, newbies!)

Examples:
"You have a very outgoing personality."
"You seem like a very deep thinker."

You could then add:
"I find that very attractive."

Remember with any compliment, especially the above, you should establish some rapport and find out a little about her, then formulate your compliment accordingly.

posted 03-31-2002 02:55 PM            

I have a competition going on with the girl I'm going out with right now - we count how many nice things I've said to her. So far, there have been 4.

posted 03-31-2002 02:57 PM            

Of course it�s not an easy skill to develop because it does take some getting used to through trial and error. However, once you start to understand the concept behind it at the basic level, you�ll soon begin to understand it at an advanced level.

Recognizing that compliments are more than just one-liners out of the blue and that they go further than just acknowledging looks, is a sure sign that you�re headed in the right direction. The reaction women give you when you compliment should be used to gauge how well your complimenting skills are developing; their responses should be warm, sincere, and sometimes enthusiastic, if not, then you need some more work.

Dr.

posted 04-01-2002 01:22 AM               

I should have elaborated a little more on when and how often to use compliments.

First, you don't want to use it to win the attention of a girl. You can't just be like "Hey! You have nice breasts, come over here!" Rather, you should use your DJ skills to approach her first, establish some rapport and kino, and THEN compliment once you figure out she is worthy of your time.

Second, you should use them rarely, kind of like a reward. Complimenting too much is seen as insincere, or "flattery." If you're really being sincere, then chances are you won't be able to compliment them too often anyway.

Last but not least, be original with your compliments. Find something that you think,(or she thinks), stands out about her.

Neg-hits are a whole different topic, but I do remember reading that neg-hits are insults disguised as compliments. Therefore, you can't just straight up insult a girl and expect her to chase after you. I'm still experimenting with this area, I'll post about it when I gain some results.

Dr. Pimp, thanks for the kudos. You added some good insights about complimenting. I've also realized that they should be used on everyone, not just girls you wanna screw.

posted 04-01-2002 09:18 PM            

I suppose I don't even really neg-hit girls.. I straight out insult them. Always in a joking way, but also always giving her a really hard time. After I have been going out with a girl for awhile, I start mixing in a few compliments.

I use this on any girls I happen to want to flirt with. I'm careful to insult what she probably is very secure in (i.e. I insult hot girls about their looks, average ones about intelligence, etc) so I don't hit a nerve. This has not failed me yet; I can talk to any girl with even the slightest bit of interest and make her want to go out with me in 10-15 minutes.

Maybe this changes as girls get more mature, or something.