posted 06-20-2002 03:13 AM            

When you neg a woman the objective is to disarm her so that you can talk to her positively. Often times people who are inexperienced with negs and don't fully understand their purpose (like me at one time) will use what they THINK has the effect of a neg to demonstrate to themselves and to the woman that they have no fear of showing cleverness at her expense. While this is admittedly hilarious fun, it does not serve a very useful purpose if you want to succeed with this woman.

Here is something that happened today which is an example of how I manufactured a neg effect out of a situation on the fly:

I was in a deparment store looking for a beard trimmer. I went over by the hair clippers and curling irons where I figured they may be. After a couple minutes of fruitless searching a girl (8) appears.

HER: Can I help you find something.
ME: In fact you can, I am looking for a beard trimmer.
HER: Hmmmm...
ME: To be honest I am pretty new to whole beard thing so any guidance would be much appreciated.
HER: Come with me. <start to follow her>...so did you just start growing that not long ago (my goatee)?
ME: How old do you think it is?
HER: Well my boyfriend (DAMMIT ) had his about that long after about two weeks.
ME: That's right on, very observant.

We come to a case with beard trimmers and razor blades and it is locked.

ME: Why is this locked?
HER: I have no idea (laughing).
Me: Well it is understandable considering beard trimmers are the most heavily stolen item nationwide.
HER: Really? (she believes it, what a blonde )
ME: Oh god yes! Did you see the CNN feature on it the other night.
HER: No I didn't! (she still genuinely believed me)

At this point I knew the girl was not too quick. I said mattter of factly, "I am kidding" and then laughed in such a way that from her perspective it would have been hard to tell if I was laughing at her expense or I was laughing at the situation and/or my own joke about it. I moved quickly on to continued positive conversation.

She was disarmed at this point because it was obviously not my intent to slam her, but I was still interested in talking to her when her flaw (not being too bright) became apparent. She was probably thinking, "Gee he's on to me. He KNOWS I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer after what just happened but he still thinks I am okay to talk to." She is thereby disarmed.

Later on I walked by her on the way out and showed her the trimmers saying "you better make sure I pay for these!" and she laughed. I did not get her number because I knew she had a borefriend and I wasn't in the mood to work my way around that obstacle at the moment (call me a puzzy and flame me, I am always welcoming of that).

You see what happened here? I connected with a REAL flaw of hers and made her aware that I knew of it in a subtle way without slamming her. A lot of the canned neg hits point out a superimposed flaw that happens to fit into a witty comment the user wants to use. Don't let your need to use a particular neg hit or neg hits in general supercede situational appropriateness. Don't get me wrong, I do use canned negs a lot but they have to be well transitioned.

Last month I used the nail neg after first taking an interest in the girl's watch.

ME: Is that a Movado?
HER: Yes.

I take her hand, KINO her hand while checking out her watch and commenting on it then slide my hand down her fingers.

ME: Are your nails real?
HER: NO.
ME: Oh...well they still LOOK nice.

So remember: Negs, whether they be canned or improvised situationally, must be focus on DISARMING the girl. Be careful not to create obstacles in your efforts to surrmount them.

Nick

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You either own the game or it owns you!

posted 06-20-2002 04:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by trickynick:
She was probably thinking, "Gee he's on to me. He KNOWS I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer after what just happened but he still thinks I am okay to talk to." She is thereby disarmed.

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Yes! Very good analysis. She KNOWS that you're deliberately choosing to overlook a genuine (if trifling) flaw in her, so all of a sudden the pressure's on her, not you.

I think one of those big factors that explain AFC failures is that some AFCs can know and even be friends with a girl for YEARS and not develop the kind of rapport some guys can create in 5 seconds. There is a saying that "We are not able to be friends with our social inferiors." That's right. If one's relationship to a girl is one of inferiority, it is impossible to create a connection. From a position of superiority, on the other hand, it is also not possible to be friends, but at least you can create a SEXUAL connection.

But sorry, I've rambled.

posted 06-20-2002 09:14 AM            

Still, very good thing to know. DISARM, do not insult

(in Star Trek speak, that would be "Mr. Worf, target their weapons array and shield generators, do not destroy the ship!")

posted 06-20-2002 11:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mistyc:
hmmm.. I just read this post on mASF

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Yeah, that was me. Check the post times, I posted here first. I knew this wouldn't stay a secret for long, so I decided to share this information both places. Still don't make trumpets-blasting announcements about the name.

Nick

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You either own the game or it owns you!

posted 06-20-2002 01:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by trickynick:
Yeah, that was me. Check the post times, I posted here first. I knew this wouldn't stay a secret for long, so I decided to share this information both places. Still don't make trumpets-blasting announcements about the name.

Nick

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On second thought, who cares.

The seductionist formerly known as trickynick.

posted 06-20-2002 04:35 PM            

Another exemple to complement yours:

I was talking with a girl wich looked very serious. The kind of girls that would have freaked me out
because she was cute and not giving signs of being really open to pursue the dicussion.

She told me (i was asking her what kind of things she intented to do this summer):
"I am a serious person. I didnt go out for a long time, only working."

I answered:
"Yeah. You look like you are a pretty boring person." -- She take this astounded look.

Important: You have to keep a few seconds of seriousness (that where you messing with her feelings).

Then i laught and tell.
"No, just joking!!" -- That's where you disarm her.

When you are telling that, she is actually so disarmed that you could use any type of Kino without problem:
In fact, YOU HAVE TO KINO!!
Rub her hair like a little kid, take her arm, her shoulder, do the ankle or shoulder bumbpin, anything!!

She's has been disarmed!!

In my case, it was very great: She then showed her smile and i continued to tease her with more subtle neghits. Great convo and great fun.

Actually, she told me i reminded her someone she knew. From her smile, that was a extremely positive compliment. She didnt believe me when i told her i was a shy person.. wich was my real success!

I didnt close although... damn!!

You want to disarm her... but don't overdo it. There was a time in my life when i was so negative, yet humourous, that i was unconsiously neggithing , but really hard. When the girls actually had the courage to talk to me, the first thing they where telling me was that i was intimidating... You surely dont want that!

I have tried this one wich seems to work great (it is a very subtle kino as you suggest she's a thief without telling so):

The waitress was cleaning my table and took my beer to do so.
I shout.. "hey! Dont take my beer!!!!" -- with a horrified look.
I waited a few seconds, smiled, joked and applied kino. (Disarmed!)
After that, each time she was passing nearby, the waitress was looking at me with a huge smile.
And i am the only one to blame for not having started a convo!!

posted 07-30-2002 11:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Tiandan007:
TrickyNick? I'm kind of new to the DJ site and noticed you make some good posts that are insightful.....any advice on Conversation with women? For example: If your dating a girl for a month or so how do you keep your conversations interesting? I seem to be at a loss for words alot. Thanks.

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He is SexPDX now

posted 07-31-2002 04:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Tiandan007:
TrickyNick? I'm kind of new to the DJ site and noticed you make some good posts that are insightful.....any advice on Conversation with women? For example: If your dating a girl for a month or so how do you keep your conversations interesting? I seem to be at a loss for words alot. Thanks.

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Once again, Nick is posting under the influence of intoxicants . Getting to be a habit lately .

Normally, questions about how to handle girls you have dated for a month is not my topic. There have been few of them for me. However, I will offer my thoughts.

Forgive the criticism, but you have known this girl for at least a month and you are asking ME how to have a conversation with her? COME ON. You know her, I DON'T. What are the kinds of things in which you share interests? What kind of talk has she responded well to in the las month? Have you been paying attention? If not, it is time to start.

Nick

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- The seductionist formerly known as trickynick

You either own the game or it owns you.