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  You HAVE to be comfortable around strangers...

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Author Topic:   You HAVE to be comfortable around strangers...
MaDsKaTeR212

Master Don Juan
posted 10-01-2002 08:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MaDsKaTeR212     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok i dont feel like making this long, but i haven't posted a tip in a while and this keeps coming to mind.

Now, when i first started all this DJing, i was pretty a pretty shy guy. This REALLY hurts you if you're trying to get a girl. Today i noticed something that stood out really well. We were hanging out and this girl came, and she's really good at getting guys the message "i like you" if she likes them.

she was acting like this around 2 guys in particular (me too but i try staying away from her because she's my good friend's ex), and one guy was responding very well (making comments and joking about her sexually), but the other one kind of laughed and didn't know how to respond.

all she was looking for was a hint that the guy was interested, and she really responded to the one who was making it obvious.

If you're comfortable making funny sexual comments about a girl (they'll start doing the same thing usually), or using a little big of extreme kino, it's a lot easier to express yourself and be on the top of your game. if you're nervous, subconsciously your body will be worrying about saying the right thing and you'll be more likely to screw up.

people have to feel like they know how someone is going to react before they do something that affects them. if you can do something without really caring how their reaction is (this can only really be done either naturally or by PRACTICE!!), you get your message across really well.

so what can we do to correct this??

well, depending on how fast you plan on getting there, you need to do one of the following:

engage in conversations with tons of random people, act like you know them just dont know stuff about them. this is a LOT friendlier and they feel comfortable around you so you can feel comfortable around them
This method will help extremely fast, you just need the balls to do it in the first place

Talk to people (mostly guys) that you notice you have something in common with, IE they're wearing a football jersey and you like football so bring it up and start a conversation. do this with a few people a day or week.
This method will help pretty fast, and is easier to bring up a conversation.

Talk to people you see a lot (IE at school or work) that you dont know, they'll be able to adjust really quickly if you're friendly enough.
This method will help build confidence, and lead you up to the steps above. it's a good place to start if you haven't really EVER talked to people you didn't know

Talk to people you've talked to but dont know well. Get information from them and try building rapport. Try talking to girls too.
This method will take a little longer but get you more socially involved.

or.. if you're really bad
Talk to people you know, try making them better/good friends. This will help you establish a social life

and if you dont know ANYONE, you better start meeting people.

the idea is, the more you talk to random people the easier it is to feel comfortable around them and say what you're trying to say. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES AND SAY SOME STUPID THINGS AND FEEL STUPID if you are a shy person. but it will come pretty quickly and the more confident you are, the more friendly people seem and the easier it gets.

you just have to go out there, and pretend you know people already. pretend they know you, treat them like people you see all the time.

i hope this helps SOMEONE.

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"Life cannot reach total perfection until it has seen total imperfection." -Yours Truly

"High risk can yield only high loss or high reward." -Yours Truly

"Ignorance is a blessing." -Yours Truly

"If you don't know the meaning of life why are you trying to win? Isn't that the same as not knowing what you're fighting for?" -Yours Truly

IP: 65.71.29.82

Ricardo

Master Don Juan
posted 10-01-2002 09:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ricardo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Exactly. I like what you said. So many people are afraid to talk to other people in different settings, they only talk to their friends or who came with them.

Sometimes It's a wonder that anyone met anybody!

IP: 66.161.200.106

MaDsKaTeR212

Master Don Juan
posted 10-03-2002 08:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MaDsKaTeR212     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
dont tell me i did this for NOTHING...

------------------
"Life cannot reach total perfection until it has seen total imperfection." -Yours Truly

"High risk can yield only high loss or high reward." -Yours Truly

"Ignorance is a blessing." -Yours Truly

"If you don't know the meaning of life why are you trying to win? Isn't that the same as not knowing what you're fighting for?" -Yours Truly

IP: 65.71.29.82

oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
posted 10-03-2002 01:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for oakraiderz2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MaDsKaTeR212:
dont tell me i did this for NOTHING...


You did this for SOMETHING...oh so very true.

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Work hard in the short-term to achieve your long term goal - JuanWannabe

AIM- oakraiderz2
[email protected]

IP: 24.53.80.243

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