posted 11-25-2002 02:58 PM
This is for all you newbs out there, who have no idea how to get a girl, like yours truly a couple of years ago.
We have all been in that situation (unless you have been born with a knack for womanizing, like Jake Steed's friend). You see this girl around a lot. She's cute, she's sexy, and she has (insert your particular fetish here). You have even said hi to her a couple of times. You would like to get her out on a date, but don't know how to do it. Or you do know how, but don't know if you SHOULD.
Such pusillanimity won't get you anywhere. It's the MAN's job to be the aggressor. The woman ain't gonna do it, even if she's sweating you so bad she'd take a bullet for you. The next time you get into a conversation with her (even if it's very brief)...
GET HER @#$% PHONE NUMBER!
What's that? "Yabbut... yabbut... I'll get all nervous and screw it up!!" Well, who the heck HASN'T been, the first time you've done it?
Let me tell you something. The first time I tried jumping off a diving board at a swimming pool, I was terrified. I stood on there a full minute, while the kids behind me in the line muttered impatiently. I thought about chickening out and going back. But finally I sort of plopped into the water. It was frightening, but I felt like I accomplished something, albeit small. The next time, it still terrified me, but less. Now, I can DIVE off the high diving board with no sweat.
Okay, it still makes me nervous, and it probably always will. But the nervousness I feel is probably one-twentieth what it would be if I chickened out the first time, and every time after.
Getting phone numbers is the same way. The first time, you may screw it up, and if she refuses to give it to you, she'll most likely NOT go around telling her friends about what a wuss you are. But the second, third, fourth times you ask for it, it will get progressively easier. Just go up to her and ...
GET HER @#$% PHONE NUMBER!!
What? "Yabbut... yabbut... She's out of my league"! Just what do you mean by that? She's too pretty for you? Uh huh. I see beautiful women with average-looking guys ALL THE TIME. Why haven't YOU been able to get a beautiful woman? "What have they got that I haven't got? COURAGE!" (to quote the Lion in the Wizard of Oz) Courage to go for it anyway.
Here's something else you should remember. Everyone has their own standards of beauty. The girl you find drop-dead gorgeous may be ranked by all of your buddies as a 6 or 7. If I met Cindy Crawford or Julia Roberts or Britney Spears at a party, I wouldn't try to get her number, because for some reason, having brown eyes detracts about two or three points from my attractiveness scale. If you go after the girls YOU find attractive (and which you may consider "out of your league"), you'll be a lot better off than if you "settle" for a girl that's a 6 in your eyes, but a 9 in some other guy's.
So, I'm telling you again...
GET HER @#$% PHONE NUMBER!!!
All right, what now? "Yabbut... yabbut... she's my only love and if she turns me down I'll be CRUSHED!"
Ah yes, the old "one-itis" syndrome. I have had bouts of that myself. But it should be no big deal because how many women are there around? Right. No shortage at all, especially if you're in college or high school or working in a well-populated area.
And here's the good part. As you start to build yourself socially, and go for the number close, and get BETTER at it, more women will find you attractive, and thereby give you their numbers willingly. Even I, who two years ago was Mr. Inept Socio-Klutz Extraordinaire, now get an 80% success rate at the number close! 80%!
And also, this puts you WAY ahead of the competition! When I told some guys who were talking about how to "signal" girls that they want to date them, that I simply ask for their number, they took it as some major innovation, and worried that I'm being too "direct" by doing this!! If you're armed with an AK-47, and your competition has knives, who's gonna win?
Here's another thing to remember. Sh!t happens. The girl that shows high interest in you may make you think that you don't need to try anymore. Beware. Girls are notorious for flaking out, and the girl you perceive as Miss Right may do this to you (especially if you subconsciously exude neediness).
What's the best way to cut down on desperation? Well, if you're dating one girl and she dumps you, it'll hurt a lot, but if you're dating four, and one dumps you, no sweat, as you still have three others you're seeing! It is ESSENTIAL that you not put all your eggs in one basket!!
So even if you have a few numbers, and another cute trick comes along, I don't care, go up and...
GET HER @#$% PHONE NUMBER!!!!
Now enough of these "yabbuts" or I may mistake you for a scared little wabbit and take you out with a wifoed swugg.
[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 11-25-2002).]