How I Use Leading Questions to Get Dates With Women

by J. Rhodes

I am a sales manager for a large financial sales organization. As such, I regularly attend sales conferences, trainings, and workshops. At one particular seminar the topic was controlling the sale by leading with questions.

After the day's conference was over, a friend and I were in the hotel bar having a few cocktails. As we are based out of Florida and the conference was in Chicago in the winter, it was obvious that we were out-of-towners.

Anyway, we spotted a very attractive, young woman sitting alone across the bar from us. Since we were already discussing the days seminar topic, I told my friend that I believed I could use that same technique to meet her and obtain her number. So, we bet on it.

I then walked over and said excuse me and introduced myself. She in turn said hi. I told her that she looked like she was from around here and she agreed. I said, "Great. Let me ask you, what is your favorite meal if you could have anything you wanted?" She replied somewhat questioningly, "Lobster."

I said, "Perfect. Here in Chicago, what would be your favorite place to have lobster if you could go anywhere you wanted?" She said, "I love the Lobster Diablo at the King Crab Tavern."

"Really? So, if you had won, I don't know, say a radio contest giving out free lobster dinners at the King Crab on Friday night, you would probably go, right?" She thought, then said, "Yes, I guess I would."

"Even if you had to have dinner with one of the other contest winners?" "Yes, I guess that would be ok" she smiled.

"Even if that other winner was me?" She thought for a moment and I just waited with a slight smile for her to answer. "No, I wouldn't mind" she said still with a slight smile.

"Then, Friday night at the King Crab Tavern we'll meet for dinner. Is eight thirty ok?" "Yes." She smiled, "That's fine."

Then we exchanged business cards and I told her I would call her Friday in the day to make sure we coordinated everything. Then telling her I couldn't wait, I turned and walked back to my friend at the other side of the bar.

By the way, this is a true story. There are several lessons here that actually came out of several sales techniques and seminars that I have taught and attended.

First, (and as your newsletter always endorses) I approached her in a confident, but non-threatening manner. Then I merely introduced myself (by far the best "pick-up line" there is). Next, I asked a series of seemingly innocent questions, and she felt safe answering them. Then adjusted her answers by restating the question in a way that it was directed toward the "close" or achieving what I wanted from the conversation.

By having her agree to have dinner with a stranger (quote, the other winner) it was going to very difficult for her to say no to my invitation without being extremely rude. In addition, I think she appreciated the uniqueness of the approach.

(I also think she was onto me halfway through, but was enjoying the game, as is often the case.)

Most importantly, as is often stated in the DJ Newsletters, it was the combination of uniqueness and confidence that opened the door.

P.S. For those in the sales field out there. Remember, everything is sales. Take what you have learned in your work and apply it to your goals outside the office. You will be surprised.

J. Rhodes