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Author Topic:   Eye Contact (why it's important)
Surfboard

Master Don Juan
posted 04-01-2001 10:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Surfboard     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always hear people saying, "make eye contact," or "look into her eyes." My question was always...WHY? What good does it do? I'd hear things like, "it shows her you're confident," or "the eyes are the window to the soul." OK...whatever that's supposed to mean. So, I pretty much didn't consider eye contact that big of a deal.

Then one day I found this article and my question was finally answered.

EYE CONTACT:

Direct eye contact triggers a primitive part of the human brain. Unrelenting eye contact creates a highly emotional state similar to fear.

When you look directly and potently into a woman's eyes, her body produces chemicals like phenylethylamine, or PEA, that jolts the sensation of being in love.

To give the woman the subliminal sense that the two of you are already in love, dramatically increase your eye contact while the two of you are talking.

Push it up to 75 percent of the time or more if you want to get the PEA gushing through her veins.

TEST TIME:

This sounded pretty interesting to me, so it was time to put it to the test.

So, one night I head out to the local strip club. I told myself that I would hold constant eye contact with one of the girls during a table dance.

The first couple of dancers wouldn't hold eye contact with me. Maybe they were just shy or something. Then I finally got one who held it with me throughout the whole song.

Other than a nice body, I had no interest in this girl at all. About half way through the song, I start getting butterflies inside of my stomach. I don't know what effect it had on her, but by the end of the song, I felt a sense of being in love with her.

I'M NOW CONVINCED!!

So, get out there and focus on this eye contact. I know it's hard, but force yourself to hold eye contact for 75% of your conversation.

Also, give her a slight smile and a little head tilt. This way she won't get all freaked out by you. She'll get the feeling that you're truely interested in her.

IP: 64.12.103.33

call m candy

Master Don Juan
posted 04-01-2001 10:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for call m candy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thanks i allways look in girls eyes and get a funny feeling eyes fascinate me.Everyone say my eyes are pretty but there dark brown .im good with the eye contact if i wore contacts would it be the same.

IP: 24.131.104.80

SuperM

Master Don Juan
posted 04-01-2001 10:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SuperM     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Surfboard,

Something similar happened to me a few days ago. I made a lot of eye contact with this one fine girl while talking and she ended up asking me out.

IP: 64.24.149.156

Lawrence

Don Juan
posted 04-02-2001 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lawrence     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi guy's,

Be careful with the "look in the eye's". It is a great thing to know and I've been testing it lately with some funny results.

One girl almost fell over because I would not break the lock. I was at work and she was on the outside, walking parallel to each other. I almost made her fall over. LOL!

It's important to have a little nice smile because I also tried just the normal look and girls looked away over 90% of the time. I looked a little agressive like this but with a nice smile something different happens. Next step is to try and adjust the walk and posture slightly and see what happens.

Try different things and have fun with it. It's great.

Respect

IP: 62.252.64.4

Nobody Cares

Master Don Juan
posted 04-02-2001 10:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nobody Cares     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know that a girl's eyes are suppose to dialate if shes interested in you. But my question is, how much do they dialate? A little? A lot? 50%? 100%?

IP: 24.113.58.91

Raoul

Master Don Juan
posted 04-03-2001 06:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Raoul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That depends. I've had it dilate to the point whereby her iris was so squished up you could barely see the green.

On the flip-side I've also had a girl who's eyes didn't dilate much yet she was completely crazy for me.

- Raoul

[This message has been edited by Raoul (edited 04-03-2001).]

IP: 202.156.0.6

stockholder

Master Don Juan
posted 04-06-2001 07:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for stockholder     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Finally an explanation to probably the most important part of seduction.The explanation I've been waiting for my whole life... I haven't been waiting but you know what I mean.

Who wrote it Surfboard?

IP: 131.155.14.130

Boy83

Don Juan
posted 04-06-2001 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Boy83     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah, but for how long should you stare? I mean, should you look into her eyes all the time or should you look away a few times? Some say you should look into her eyes all the time, some say it scares her off.

IP: 195.197.160.14

Surfboard

Master Don Juan
posted 04-07-2001 11:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Surfboard     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
call m candy,

quote:
if i wore contacts would it be the same?

I don't see any reason why it wouldn't have the same effect.

SuperM,

quote:
I made a lot of eye contact with this one fine girl while talking and she ended up asking me out.

Good going!! I'm happy to hear success stories. It proves to me that this is much more important than I thought it was.

Lawrence,

quote:
It's important to have a little nice smile because I also tried just the normal look and girls looked away over 90% of the time.

Yes, the smile is very important, especially when you're talking face to face.

I've also noticed that most of the women will look away anyway. This is when you should keep watching them. See if they turn back to look at you again. Some body language books say, that if she turns back around and looks at you, that this is a sign of interest.

stockholder,

quote:
Who wrote it?

It's a book called "How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You." It's be Leil Lowndes. You can find it on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com.

Boy83,

quote:
yeah, but for how long should you stare?

Maintain eye contact 75% of the conversation.

If the woman is walking toward you, I'd say not to break eye contact at all.

quote:
some say it scares her off.

That's why you need to smile. This will show that your friendly.

Think about it. If someone was just staring at you, with no smile on their face, you'd probably think they were pis*ed off at you or something.

SO PLEASE SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


IP: 64.12.102.29

Doctorsuave

Don Juan
posted 04-08-2001 01:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doctorsuave     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yo,

This is a great post, it hits it right on the nail.

I just purchased a book "What Women Want"

(I can't believe they finally got it done!)

But anyways, There is a section in the book that describes the Top 20 things women are attracted to....

Guess what is NUMBER ONE on the list?

THE EYES.

Not abs of steel, nice butt, hair, or anything of that sort. Eyes came up number one from a survey of 2200 women.

Remember eye contact when you're using the art of flirtation. 2200+ women can't be wrong!

Peace out,
Dr. Suav´┐Ż

------------------
"Life is a single letter of the alphabet. It can be meaningless. Or it can be part of a greater meaning. You choose."

IP: 137.216.160.50

syncmaster

Moderator
posted 04-09-2001 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for syncmaster     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's sooo true. i was in a mall the other day. making eye contact and chatting ppl up and all. And i knowticed that when i just look into their eyes ppl would turn their heads and stuff. Then I thought about it. I went back Today to school and did the same thing. Except I smiled. WOW, every second girl i "stared at" ( shortest way to say it) Smiled and looked back.

It's crazy because it works.
Is there anyway to give you "nicer" eyes. I already have pretty good eyes, I don't smoke or anything like that. So there white. But anyway to make 'em look better. ( i have brown/green eyes)

IP: 24.156.235.179

call m candy

Master Don Juan
posted 04-09-2001 10:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for call m candy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i also want to know if you can make them look better. What makes an eye pretty.

IP: 24.131.104.80

rows1

Master Don Juan
posted 04-10-2001 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for rows1     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
does it have to do with eye shape? i really have no idea. And there are stereotypes that all asian people have SMALL eyes. so... everyone really loves staring into my eyes because, I'm an Asian guy, and my eyes are very nice. My friends think it's freaky. HAHA

IP: 24.30.29.99

Neophyte

Master Don Juan
posted 02-24-2002 01:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Neophyte     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
-bump-

IP: 212.239.198.30

BGMan

Master Don Juan
posted 02-24-2002 05:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BGMan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Eye contact!

Ahh yes. I used to be horrible at doing it, but now I think I have it down juuuuust right. Of course it works best when you're relaxed and happy, but it works wonders when you're talking to a girl.

Arrows, heck. Whip out your Cupid's Lasers and go get 'em!

BGMan

IP: 129.101.5.49

Benwin

Don Juan
posted 03-29-2002 01:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benwin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
what about this, if you are sitting in a class which is in a circular orientation. I sit at 6 oclock and girls at 9,10,11, 12 look at me constantly, actually have a 4 and 5 looking at me too. I wore this badazz shirt today that basically turns heads. How long do you look at them in this situation? How much of a smile? Full/half-ass? How often?

IP: 12.251.130.215

chimps_rule

Don Juan
posted 03-30-2002 08:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for chimps_rule     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
mmmm, what makes eyes pretty? i often think about this and it is to do with the colour(strong colour), shape and darkness/thickness of eye lashes.

ive often been told my eyes are nice, i looked at them and thought 'whatever, they dont look that special too me', but after a while i have been noticing eyes in general and now i see why girls notice them.

i posted a post almost that same as this several months ago about an article i found in the paper!!!

IP: 202.138.16.79

IntermediateDonJuaner

Master Don Juan
posted 04-27-2002 04:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for IntermediateDonJuaner     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, this is quite an old post but I have decided to bring it up because I have a couple of questions that need some so-called advice from the DJ'S out there.

I agree with the eye-contact thing that it is very important. I have had no problems looking into someone else's eyes directly although I don't do it often before.

Now my question is, there are some girls that will look into your eyes and lock eyes with you. On the other hand, there are girls that do not lock eye contact with me. I just do not know the reason why. Are they shy,uncomfortable,scared of me or they're just simply not interested.??

And one more question, if eye pupil dilation do show real interest level, how can we rely on it? Some people have small dark brown eyes and it is extremely difficult to tell if the eye-pupil dilates or shrinks. So how do you tell if it dilates or turns smaller?

Guys, advice me

IP: 61.6.148.233

Surfboard

Master Don Juan
posted 04-28-2002 06:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Surfboard     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Well, this is quite an old post

Geez...You got that right! This post is over a year old now.

quote:
there are girls that do not lock eye contact with me. I just do not know the reason why. Are they shy,uncomfortable,scared of me or they're just simply not interested.??

Good question! Let me see if I can clear some of this up for you.

Here's a couple of scenarios that have happened to me recently.

Scenario # 1

I'm walking through the mall, looking through the window of a store. I turn my eyes back to see where I'm going and lock eyes with this nice looking woman. Simultaneously, we both turned our heads away from each other and kept on walking.

Now it's time to start digging to get the answer of Why Did I Break Eye Contact?

From what I saw, I was definitely somewhat interested. That's just it. I didn't have time to size the woman up. I just got a look at her face. I need to check out the whole package from head to toe before I decide to hold eye contact or not. I think this is true of women also. Maybe one of the girls here can verify this.

I think it was just a natural response to break eye contact. I knew I couldn't get busted checking out her body while she's looking at me, so I just turned away. This is exactly what I think happened to the woman. She didn't have time to check me out either. So to avoid the embarrassment of being busted, we both turned our eyes away from each other.

As mention in the original post. Eye contact creates a highly emotional state similar to fear. This is where the phrase "Fight or Flight" comes from. Since I didn't want to enter a FIGHT without knowing what I was getting into (checking out the whole package), then the human response is to take FLIGHT.

Scenario # 2

I enter a strip club and sit down at a table. Before I knew it, one of the girls is tapping me on the back asking me if I'd like a table dance. I quickly respond with the answer NO.

As she walks away all dejected, I slap myself upside the head, because she's got the perfect look that I like in a girl.

So, again I have to ask myself why I turned down a table dance from a girl that absolutely turns me on.

And again, I come up with the same answer. I didn't have the time to check her whole package out. Since she approached me from behind, I only got a look at her face.

Then there's the girl that I did have time to check out. She also had that look that turns me on. But this time I was prepared to FIGHT.

So now I have to get her attention. What did I do? I locked eyes with her and gave her a smile. Her first response was to turn her head away, but within seconds she turned back and re-established eye contact. Since I was still holding eye contact with her, she knew I was interested. If I would've broke eye contact when she looked back, then she probably would've kept on walking.

Let's move on to the "Shy, Interested Girl."

Scenario # 3

I'm getting my hair cut at a Supercuts store, when in comes the cashier girl. She's too young for me, but still a female to practice on. She was sure cute though, so I wanted to let her know that I was pleased with what I saw.

Since I had time to check her out, I was prepared to hold eye contact with her. So I start watching her. Then we lock eyes and what do you think her response is? Since I caught her by surprise, her response was to look away.

I bet you're thinking she's not interested. If you thought that, then you're WRONG. I kept watching her after she broke eye contact. Within seconds, I watched her slowly but surely take another look through the corner of her eyes. She locks eyes with me again and this time she knows she's been busted trying to check me out. I just smiled at her and she smiled back. This went on for the rest of my haircut.

Now the "Uninterested Girl."

Scenario # 4

Walking through the mall, and I see a girl coming toward me. I had time to check out the package and liked what I saw. She also had the opportunity to check me out.

We're now close enough to make eye contact. We lock eyes and then she breaks eye contact. Still watching her eyes, I say hello and give her a smile. She re-establishes eye contact and gives me a fake smile back. Then she breaks eye contact again and keeps on walking.

I'm picking up some bad vibrations from her, but want to make sure she's not interested. I do this by continuously watching her to see if she looks back after she's already past. She never turned back. An interested woman will look back. Even a shy girl will look back when she thinks the coast is clear.

quote:
if eye pupil dilation do show real interest level, how can we rely on it?

Forget about this!! It's just a waste of time. There are many things that can cause the pupils to dilate.

After making eye contact, focus on the reaction of the girl. Her actions will tell the tale.


IP: 152.163.204.212

CasaNova 666

Master Don Juan
posted 04-28-2002 10:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CasaNova 666     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting post.

------------------
Sycho

"Do unto others as they have done to you."

"The greater man is not the man who can seduce a million women, but the man who can hold onto one forever."

IP: 12.220.42.38

Aztec

Master Don Juan
posted 04-29-2002 12:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aztec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Boy83:
yeah, but for how long should you stare? I mean, should you look into her eyes all the time or should you look away a few times? Some say you should look into her eyes all the time, some say it scares her off.

You shouldn't stare into her eyes like a psycho.

Hold that eye contact for the duration of the time she is speaking so that she knows (or she thinks) that you're listening. Or during the converation, look at her other parts of her face but don't let your sight drop to her rack level. At least don't let her catch you staring at her boobies!

IP: 24.47.163.102

dip

Master Don Juan
posted 04-30-2002 08:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dip     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i have a little question, is it true that a girls pupils will get larger when she is attracted to you? if this is true...then what should you do if her eyes are black, and you cant see her pupils?

IP: 66.243.64.30

Marius_Novus

Don Juan
posted 05-02-2002 01:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Marius_Novus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here's a story of something totally unexpected that happened to me with the girl that I still date. It was our second date. We went to a local pizza place and while we were waiting for our dinner we had a great conversation sitting facing each other. Well, then in the middle of it, out of no where, she goes: "Your pupils got bigger, do you know what that means?". Of course I did know what it meant, but I still asked her to explain it to me. She said that it reflects an interest in the person who I speak to. Well said, I agreed and she asked me if her pupils got bigger, too! just my 2 cents.

IP: 199.169.208.132

mistyc

Master Don Juan
posted 05-02-2002 07:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mistyc     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by dip:
i have a little question, is it true that a girls pupils will get larger when she is attracted to you? if this is true...then what should you do if her eyes are black, and you cant see her pupils?


don't worry about the pupils.. as with every other "sign of interest", one sign alone doesn't mean anything. If she's interested there will be other signs too.. a lot.

IP: 64.230.105.166

MysteryWoman

Master Don Juan
posted 05-04-2002 06:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysteryWoman     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally ??
[/b]


I'm picking up some bad vibrations from her, but want to make sure she's not interested. I do this by continuously watching her to see if she looks back after she's already past. She never turned back. An interested woman will look back. Even a shy girl will look back when she thinks the coast is clear.


[/B][/QUOTE]

I disagree with this statement, although everything else you said is a good analysis.
I'm Shy and when I'm checking out a guy I like, I don't have the guts to turn my head around once he has past. A lot of girls who are interested will do this due to a lack of confidence.

IP: 212.126.146.231


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