posted 07-06-2001 10:59 AM
To all the shy guys out there, get this : INSECURITY ISN'T SEXY. IT'S A MAJOR TURNOFF. Trust me on this one, a confident elephant man swimming in a pool of dung is more attractive than an insecure Tom Cruise. We all know this : an assertive fat a$$ will always be more sucessful than a cute, muscular queer boy.
In a way, this is a miracle. Women rely almost solely on looks, but we have something called confidence. If you�re an ugly girl, you lost the battle. If you are a shy guy, you can work hard an win the war. Plastic surgery is expensive. Self-growth only costs effort and discipline.
Confidence isn�t a God given gift. Confidence is hard work.
The only way you can build situational confidence is EXPERIENCE.
However, you can always increase your overall confidence. Here�s how.
* Challenge yourself physically. There's nothing like learning a new physical skill to improve body confidence. When you were in high school, didn�t you notice that chicks magnets were the ones who were rather active physically? Most of them were not particulaly big or cute, but they were energetic and active. Challenging yourself physically fills your body with endorphins. These are the #1 confidence boosters.
* Dress for success. Buy clothes that fit well and feel good. You don't have to be handsome to be confident (eg : Danny DeVito). Make the most of your own unique physical assets and downplay your flaws so that you know you're giving out your best image.
* Dare to fail. Anybody who's out there genuinely striving is going to fail repeatedly. YES, YOU WILL GET REJECTED! YES, YOU WILL FEEL THE O SO HORRIBLE PAIN OF REJECTION (which is a million times less painful than the pain of regret by the way). If you're not failing, you're not trying. So don't take failure too hard or too personally. Just learn to roll with it and use its lessons to keep improving.
* When in doubt�. Pretend you know what you're doing. Hesitation is probably the #1 turnoff in a man (along with putrid body odors). If you're confident of your abilities, by the time you're done, you will be competent.
* Adopt the physiology of confidence. Emotion is created by motion, so there�s no way you will feel confident if you�re always hunched over like Scooby-Doo�s friend, Sammy. Do you want to feel like sh!t ? Thy these : head lowered, shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, shallow breathing, and a sad facial expression. Man, STAND TALL ! Walk like you own the place. Besides, good posture always makes you look larger. But it�s not over yet� SMILE ! Any change in your physical body makes an immediate, radical change in the way you feel. How you move, use your facial muscles, gesture, walk, talk, and even breathe all determine how you feel in any moment.
* Watch what you eat! What you put into your body deeply affects how you feel emotionally. Changes in your blood sugar, for example, make a radical difference in how you feel emotionally. You are what you eat. Eat well for heaven�s sake. Pouring sh!t in your body will make you feel like sh!t. Eat live foods and you�ll feel alive. If you aren�t paying attention to what you�re eating, you�re going to pay an emotional price.
* Listen to yourself. You're the only person who knows what's right for you. Don't put others' opinions above your own inner voice.
* Stop putting yourself down, and quit incessantly confessing your tiny flaws. Say no to negativity. Learn to highlight your positive attributes and stop whining like a little girl.
* Get in touch with your dreams and ambitions. Reach for the sky. Passion is confidence.
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.
"Did I hear the phrase "she already has a bf"? Cause if I did, don't mind posting a thread in this forum. MOVE ON! RUN! RUN FOR YOU LIFE! RUN LIKE YOU NEVER RAN BEFORE! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
[This message has been edited by CHALENGE GUY (edited 07-06-2001).]