posted 07-23-2001 10:30 AM
I'm sure all of you guys know that when approaching anyone (esp. women) nothing is more cordial and inviting than a bright eyed smile. It is also a great way to gauge initial interest.
First of all, smiling puts everyone at ease. It reassures them that you mean well and "come in peace." It's fun and jovial and shows a caring, confident attitude.
When someone smiles at you, very rarely do you not smile back. Also a smile makes you feel a little better about your day. It's as if someone saw something in you and it made them happy. They recognized you, and that is the most flattering thing a total stranger can do for us.
Now women behave rather interestingly when they are "interested" in us. A smile and gaze into their eyes will always get a positive response and you will be seen as attractive (not to mention you are more attractive when you smile). This serves you well and makes them think well of you.
If a woman is attracted to you, and you give her a warm smile (it has to be sincere and the eyes have to smile too), she will smile back and look at the ground or blush. It's an involuntary reaction so she won't be able to help it. The ice is already broken and you haven't even said a word.
I must mention this...Don't Stare! Smile and nod your head or say Hi. Practice this constantly. It will do wonders for your confidence because we are fueled by positive human interaction. I remember someone once told me that to stay emotionally healthy we need a certain amount of touches by people a day (Yes, we are that needy). Don't only smile at women to whom you are attracted. Smile at everyone. I once heard an old school pimp say you can tell a real player because every woman in the room is drawn to him. You want to have that level of magnetism where everyone is drawn to you. You don't want this to be rehearsed and contrived though. It has to flow from your natural goodness and yearning for positive human interaction. The reason we don't smile more often is because we're (esp. us guys) afraid to show our vulnerability and soft side.
The reason the smile is so effective is because you reflect goodness to someone. When someone smiles at you, you feel good about yourself, and in turn about that person. It gives you an emotional boost. When you start letting this happiness flow through you (even if you aren't particularly in a good mood), you will see how other people positively respond to it and you will be affected by their response just as much as they were affected by your smile.
Smiling also releases endorphins which calm you and make you happier. In life there are leaders and followers. There are those of us waiting for someone to smile at us and make us happy and there are those of us who are willing to give happiness first knowing that their happiness comes from making someone else happy.
[This message has been edited by Rico (edited 07-23-2001).]