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Author Topic:   Online Dating advice - PLEASE READ

Master Don Juan
posted 07-31-2001 12:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for swat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, I have gone out with several girls from the internet/phone before and have had no success in a LTR. Here are some things I have picked up along the way..

Don't get too close too fast
No matter how comfortable it may seem online, you cannot replicate what you would have if you were face to face. Period. Even with the phone, it lacks so much interaction. Do not become too attached to a girl or let her become too attached to you, or you could go through hell because you've become too attached too soon.

The Meeting
The meeting WILL be awkward, even if you have spent the last 2 months talking on the phone every night, and sent numerous ICQ/MSN messages. This will go away after a little bit of ice breaking, but it is almost starting over fresh in a way, another reason NOT to get too serious before you meet. Please heed this warning. Also, make it a rule of thumb to meet any girl online within a month of talking to her - any more just drags out the inevitable and the magic is lost.

Ok. Everyone and their dog has a webcam now, and the things are so easy to setup you have to be a real idiot not to figure it out. Be wary if a girl will not give you a pic beforehand, this usually means she's bunk. ALSO, please remember that a girl may appear to have a real wicked face, but if you don't see the rest of the body - you DONT know what you're getting into! Asking her to describe her weight/height is ESSENTIAL and shouldn't be passed up.

Don't be played
Face it, we're guys. We're always going to have a nice backup in case something doesn't work out. Same thing applies online, always have at least 5+ girls on the go - if a few don't work out, no big deal =) If things are going really well with a girl and you decide to meet, but you KEEP getting blown off when it comes time to meet - put her on ignore for a while, if she's really interested in you she will attempt to get in touch with you - if not she's just a playette - and YES they DO exist on the net, and they can be just as deceptive.

Have Fun
Keep it simple, keep it light.. laughter.. same things that apply in real life apply online. Don't get too involved and too intense.

Anyways, I just broke up with a girl that I met online (I did the dumping) and I seriously doubt if a LTR can exist from meeting online, but I would love to hear any success stories =)

By the way, the best success I found with meeting girls online was joining a local message board devoted to some way of life. I was into Raves/Rave Culture for a while, and I found a few local boards where I met a LOT of people - and it's usually more of a comfortable atmosphere, and the success rate is much higher than marketing yourself on one of those date websites. If you're into martial arts, check out some martial art mb's. If your into clubbing, there's lots of local mb's dedicated to the night scene. Etc, so on =)

If I'm missing anything let me know, I'd love to here some more advice from people who have been there, done that =)



Master Don Juan
posted 07-31-2001 01:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gaming111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Excellent post, seems like sound advice.

Please remember to use the "SEARCH" function in this forum on the topic you have questions about before asking, because it most likely has been answered already! Thank you.

The DJ Bible



Don Juan
posted 08-06-2001 04:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desperateforhelp     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great post. If I were to ever meet someone online I would surely use your advice.

Once again great great great advice!.



Master Don Juan
posted 09-03-2002 09:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for diplomatic_lies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I tried it once. Met on a Diplomacy game (you should play it sometime, just imagine "The Prince" by Machiavelli turned into an internet board/negotiation game!).
We decided to get together at the Melb Uni Diplomacy tournament, talked a bit, got on well, kept in contact.

It went pretty good. LTR for a few months. But I don't recommend it. Why? Because people can bullsh!t like hell on the net. See, this girl didn't bullsh!t because there was no need to (no expectations, only as "friends").

Let me tell you a quick story:

I was mucking around on MSN one afternoon when I got home from school. Some of my friends didn't know I have MSN, since I use it for Diplomacy games (not for communication). I pretended I was this chick(10)he met at a party when he was drunk (he does that a lot). So, being the drunkard he was, he believed me, and got hooked. Sent him a pic of a friend of mine, and he eventually agreed to meet me at city central.

I'm not sure what happened - never asked him. But I do know a friend of mine saw him hanging around city central - then came back half an hour later and saw him still there.

Keep that in mind



Don Juan
posted 09-04-2002 04:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DJinArizona     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've dated 2 chicks from match.com and both seemed really great at first but turned out to be very insecure and have emotional problems and troublesome pasts. I don't know if this is true of all women online but it was with these two. Sadly I hit it off with both of them big-time at the beginning and they were both hot but turned out to be psycho.

Girl #1: Beautiful face, auburn hair, green eyes, killer tight body. After a while she showed her insecurity and every date started to end with "please don't dump me, it would hurt so bad, I worry about it so much." We agreed to a mutual breakup after 3 months.

Girl #2: Very pretty, hot body (was a personal trainer for a while), tall, straight natural blonde hair and blue eyes, perfect breasts and ass. Everything was wonderful and right up to the last day she was telling me how happy she is and how perfect I am. Then one day after 4 months of dating she calls, going off like a lunatic about how her mother doesn't like me and therefore it's over, even though I never really got a chance to know mom. I thought it would blow over but when she was ripping me even worse two days later, I told her that a 28-yr old woman should not have her mother running her dating life and it's time for me to go.

So that's my experience. Would I try it again? Yes! Both women were HOT, we did have fun, and the sex was mind-blowing with both. Do I have any expectations of a LTR? Well, it would be nice, but the answer is NO! Take it for what it is and have fun.

By the way, both of those girls responded to my ad. I've found that trying to email the girls who have ads is a waste of time. They get hundreds of emails every week and usually don't write back.



Don Juan
posted 09-05-2002 05:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is great advice Swat. I have been using various online dating services for about 2 years. I must say that all of my experience have been miserable so far. The most recent girl I met was probably a 6 and had major insecurities. Several others I met were freaking HUGE. They would state that they are "slightly curved." What a bunch of bull****! They are morbidly obese!

Alright, now that I'm done delivering my tantrum, I agree with Swat that we should look at the online dating as a pool of potential phone numbers. Nothing more.



Jungle Boy

Don Juan
posted 09-05-2002 10:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jungle Boy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ha ha ha!!!

Personally I don't care for chatrooms that much...although I use MSN or ICQ every once in a while to chat with friends.

The thing I want to say here is...Be Careful...that you aren't talking to another guy.

I have a friend, Joe, who would sign on with a girl's name...and wait for the guys to start hitting on him.

He would have them all excited...and worked up thinking he was a model. When they asked for a pic he would refrain at first...and when the insisted...he would finally "give in" and send them a pic of some model.

That would really get them asking all kinds of stuff...and act like major AFCs.

We were at the beach a couple weeks back talking to some dude that was playing ball with us. Somehow in the conversation the dude told Joe the nickname he used in the chatroom...and Joe started laughing.

The dude asked what was so funny...and Joe was like, "Do you remember talking to a girl named Dani a while back?" And the dude was like, "Yeah"! And Joe just cracked up laughing and said, "That was me you were talking to."

Fortunately, the took the joke well...but I guess it could have gotten ugly. =-)

Just use your head...use a lot of common sense if you try anything on line.

"Don't believe anything you hear, and only half of what you see."


Shadow Dancer

Don Juan
posted 09-09-2002 03:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shadow Dancer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good post Swat.

I've also used the online services. In so doing I've gone on about 25 or so dates with girls I've met from online. Most were duds but some were genuine goodies. And I did actually have a LTR come from one. She was a level-headed girl with direction and high self esteem.

Remember, for every type of guy that is on the net, there is the same type of girl.

One thing I learned the hard way which has been posted and which would SEEM obvious is...get a pic of her. More than one if at all possible. Pics of her face close, far and pics of her body. Do NOT rely on her to describe her weight to you. I repeat, do NOT. Dear lord. I've had girls who looked good in the face in their pic tell me straight up, "I'm about 5-6, I have a nice ass and I weigh about 135 pnds.". Then when I've gone to meet them, no lie, they have been upwards of 190+ pnds. I am not even kidding. I was just blown away at how some people would lie so blatantly. Especially knowing that we are going to meet. WTF?! hahahah

So yeah, get as many pictures as you possibly can. If the girl refuses cause she thinks you're too superficial, phuck her. Next her ass and move on. Just be sure that YOU have a picture. No double standard shiet.

Heed my warning!

And what Swat said about your intial meeting was right on the money. When you first meet it will be a bit awkward. Even though you've talked through the net and phone you've never actually met. And talking with someone is much differnt than being on the net. Just be sure to stay cool and be the same funny guy you've been with her on the net. Don't shy away. Let loose and have a good time. It will put you both at ease and the next thing you know, you'll have a great time.

Oh and one more thing...I've found that if the girl looks like a slut in her pictures, she probably is. hahah. Play your cards right and you'll have sex with her on the 1st date, 2nd at latest. Seriously. I'm speaking from experience here. Just make sure you realize what type of girl she is beforehand. Cause you'll probably get burned if you're looking for a LTR with a girl like that. Know what's up and enjoy your time together.

Once you do it enough it becomes quite easy. It used to be hard as hell for me to meet a girl from online. But now it's no thang. Simple as hell. Experience will teach you, as it did me.


I danced till midnight when the sky turned black,
It is hard to dance with the Devil on your back.
They buried my body and thought I'd gone,
But I am the dance and I still go on.



Don Juan
posted 11-17-2002 09:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CaelestisProeliator     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great post!! I just wish I would have found this post a few months ago.



Don Juan
posted 11-18-2002 02:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for JADT     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ALL THAT STUFF IS FUNNY!! I dated one girl from online,and we went out and she was ALL over me! I couldv'e had easy sex with her,but i didn't. Well,the picture that i saw of her wasn't really her.The picture that i saw was of some HOT LATIN chick.This girl might have been part italian,latina,hawaiin and whatever she was claimin,but i knew there was somethin different with her and her mom.Her mom wasn't Half hawaiin,she looked like she was from east africa.And the name Uhuru I found out was AFRICAN,when that happened,i was like "WTF!?".she wasnt ugly,but she was okay,not that hot girl in the pic.when she came out the car,i was still lookin around for that one girl,but she knocked on the window as if she was the girl i was dating.I found this to be super weird!Okay,so i was stunned sayin to myself "she tricked me".Well,the relationship did not last that long,and she likes to tease TO MUCH,which i dont like.I met someone else from online,but not as a girl friend,and it wasn't that awkward,cuzz i was myself.Would i date someone from online again? YEA!! Cuzz this time if i found that they lied,i'm cancelling and if i dont cancel,i'll use her as social proof later on,nothing more.


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