posted 09-06-2001 07:23 PM
We all know a girl wants a man who listens. A man who listens to what they say, think, feel about anything and everything. This seems like an easy objective, given that listening is a passive skill. I thought I had this covered well.
Well, 2 girlfriends ago, when we broke up, she told me I never listened to her. How could this be? She called all the time, and we taked for a while. There is an inherant problem with my rebuttle. I will ease into it. You know when a girl talks, you would usually rather be somewhere else. You don't care what she thinks, because in most cases, what she thinks is wrong. Funny thing is, it reciprocates. They care about what we have to say about as much as we care about their thoughts.
But it is a conversation, right? When they talk, they expect a response. They want a little input to see if we are listening, or if we are smart and have an opinion. Well, I presumed this was so. It works that way with other men, why wouldn't it work with women?
"How bout them Braves?"
"Hell yeah. Maddux is a pimp." (etc.)
Notice the agreement, and the input afterwards. I now describe correct form with women:
"I'm so tired today. My parents were giving me all this crap last night, and I blah blah blah new shoes blah blah nails blah blah. I think I did the right thing."
Notice how I didn't comment on anything, just let the crap fly out of her lips, and agreed afterward. This alone will not take care of the situation. Although you care not what she says, it must appear that you do care. There are a few pointers you must be aware of.
Always look into her eyes. This is a good thing to do in any situation. If she looks away for a second, feel free to look at any other body part, but keep them on the eyes when she looks back at you. This is not a stare. Just be relaxed, and act like she has your focus. You can think about something else if it keeps your ears from bleeding. Also, keep a light smile, or grin on, like you agree with, or enjoy what she is saying.
Nod if she pauses, or say yeah. If she laughs, laugh a little with her. It hurts to fake a smile for so long, but you'll get used to it. Few guys have mastered this, less yet practice it, giving you a huge edge. One of the first thing a girl mentions in your description is "Oh and he's such a great listener."
Put this into practice, but make sure you are going out with her, doing sexual things. Make sure you are not "Friends" with her, because this will only lower you down further into the friend zone. It is a powerful tool. Use it and benefit.