posted 10-13-2001 04:34 PM
Was'up DJ's I'm a new member here, and have been following the site for a while, so I hope this helps.
I got this from a Psychology Today magazine article and have found it useful. So I'm going to post the most important things I found in it.
The Eight Habits Of Highly Popular People
1)Schedule Your Social Life
"It is impossible to hone your social skills without investing time in them. Practice makes perfect, even for the socially secure. Accordingly, the well liked surround themselves with others, getting a rich supply of opportunites to observe interactions and to improve on their own social behaviours."
When your'e with people look at their personality styles. Its true, from some of my boys I've learned how to tell stories better with more detail. I have a dry sense of humour, but I've picked up different kinds humour too, hanging around practical jokers. Hang around different people, you'll become more well rounded socially. That way you'll be able to attract so many [b]different types of girls, knowing different types of people and styles, just adopt it to yourself[/b].
"Insecure people tend to approach others anxiously, feeling they have to prove they are witty or interesting. But self assured people expect that others will respond positively"
Now this is very important DJs. If you approach a girl nervous or anxious it will show, and she'll read you, or anybody for that matter. Trust me, I know from first hand experience
3)Engage In Social Reconnaissance
"Like detectives the socially competent are highly skilled at information gathering, always scanning the scene for important details to guide thier actions. They direct their focus outward, observing others and listenting actively.
Right. When your'e around girls observe what they are like. Analyze how they talk, how they walk, how they dress even. Analyze everything. You'll be able to tailor your approach to fit her persona. You'll develop a better repore with her (even by using the same words she uses), and faster too. Who knows, you might even find she's not your type.
"Socially skilled people are tuned in to people's expressions of specific emotions, sensitive to signals that convey information as what people's interests are."
"The socially confident are also able to identify and label their own experience accurately. That is where many people particularly men fall short."
DJ's be aware of you own emotions, that's the only way you will control them, otherwise they'll control you. To master your emotions, don't wrestle or fight with them. Acknowledge them, and accept them, even befriend them. Don't let emotions like infatuation, frustration, fear, or other bull**** interfere, they're only shadows.
4)Enter Conversations Gracefully
"Timing is everything. After listening and observing on the perimeter of a group they want to join, the socially competent look for an opportunity to step in, knowing it doesn't just happen. It usually appears as a lull in the conversation."
After observing jump in if your'e in a group with girls or there's one you want to talk to, you have to take chances in order to be great at what you do. Like Muhammed Ali said, "Who will dare to be great, who will be bold". This is what you do, DJ'ing is a skill just like boxing, writing etc.To be great you must take risks
"The idea is to use an open ended question that lets others participate"
Common sales technique, they often start with who, what, where, when, why the 5 W's."
5)Learn To Handle Failure
"It is a fact that eveyone will sometimes be rejected. Rebuffs happen to even popular people. What distinguishes the socially confident from mere mortals in their reaction to rejection. They don't attribute it to internal causes, such as thier own unlikeability or inability to make friends. They assume in can result from many important factors-incompatibilty, someone elses bad mood, a misunderstanding."
"Self assured people become resilient, using the feedback they get to shape another go at acceptance."
Failure is the one thing in life that tests your character, so consider it a blessing. In weightlifting in order to get bigger in size you use extreme resistance, feeling the burn and breaking down the muscle until it recovers even stronger. Failure does that to your character. Use it as an opportunity to learn, and allow it to strengthen you. Hey, I'm still learning. Learning is an ongoing process. I read something on Micheal Jordan's comeback, and he said the game is still teaching him things, amazing coming from probably the greatest ballplayer ever. So allow this game to teach you
Remember,"You don't have to be interesting. You have to be interested. That's how you have conversations."-Dr. John Gottman
Stay Tuned For Part 2 (But I don't have time write it just now )