posted 12-17-2001 02:20 AM
Somehow I got these AFC ideas in mind:
"Someone will love you for who you are."
"It's what is inside that really counts."
"There is a right person out there for you."
Is this not really just BS told to us like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy (nice child like stories that hide the harsh facts of like from us)?
What I'm getting at is that a woman really doesn't give a rat's ass (at least at first) whether you are really a good, talented, intelligent, caring, compassionate person (a good person inside). What a woman wants is for you to make her respond *emotionally*. Being confident, controlled and most importantly being a challenge is what a woman *emotionally* responds to. I think she cares more that you can make her laugh rather that you work in charity organizations, are a former buddhist monk or you save peoples' lives.
In reality, to be a true Don Juan you want to keep her in the dark (mysterious) as to who you are. What you a Don Juan should do is to try as much as possible to *not* reveal anything. Do not reveal anything about yourself or how you feel about her.
In reality, a woman will not love you for who you are: she will go ahead and get rid of you if she finds out who you are. Why? You become boring to her, she can't fantasize about you or wonder about you.
The art of seduction is all about creating a mysterious image of yourself where she has no exact clue where she stands with you. You are in effect creating a little mini drama for her to peak her interest; this is all this romance horse ****. And once her interest is peaked she will lay seige to you to find out as much as possible about you and to *destroy* you by trying to control you and demean you. Why does she want to *destroy* you? She wants to destroy you because she wants to find out if her interest is justified (I believe woman hate to repond emotionally to someone -- remember they think themselves as princesses and showing any kind of emotion on some guy is a precious gift -- unless they think he is the goods). She wants to see if you fit her screwed up romantic notions of a "true" man she reads in her trashy romance novels.
Therefore, she could care less what is "inside". What she wants is some guy who won't put up with her crap, will not let her always get her way, and keeps her on her toes by making her uncertain as whether she has a strangle hold on her guy; he can walk away at any moment.
In otherwords, to keep a woman you must always keep her on her toes, let her wonder about you to fuel a drama she so craves; her world is boring and she yearns to find excitement.
This is the American woman: stuck up, spoilt with a chip on her shoulder. With economic independance, she now realizes that she does not need the man to survive. She now has the luxury to simply sit back and say, "Entertain me boys, give me some instant emotional gratification. Make me feel so I can enjoy chasing you and destroying you." Notice that everything evolves around her; she cares only how *she* feels, she only cares if *she* is entertained. Where does the guy fit it? He is only there to make *her* feel. A woman is the *center* of the universe.
Now what types of thoughts go through this narcissitic vantage point, where everything revolves around her, what type of wants does she have.
"Things must be my way."
"I am too good for almost anyone."
"I need to be worshipped and adored."
"I need to be showered with attention."
THIS IS YOUR PRINCESS RIGHT HERE.
What do you do? You do the exact opposite.
"Things must be my way." You don't let her get her way all the time. You say it is my way or the highway.
"I am too good for almost anyone." You show her that she is not too "good" by *not* treating her like a princess. You appear confident like she is one of a thousand chicks you already have had. You don't shower her with gifts and tell her how great she is and so on.
"I need to be worshipped and adored." You don't make yourself too available. You don't tell her you love her. You don't validate everything she does or says. You treat her as every other person.
"I need to be showered with attention." You be a challenge to her by showing borderline disinterest. You only go out with her once a week.
Now, why by doing the exact opposite to her "wants" (jerk ability) makes her respond? Why does the "nice" guy that fills her needs falls by the wayside?
BY GOING AGAINST HER WISHES YOU ARE CREATING FRICTION. A WOMAN LOVES FRICTION BECAUSE IT IS THE ESSENCE OF DRAMA.
Friction --> Drama --> Excitement --> Emotions --> Feelings
What ensues is basically a power struggle. It is a wrestling match. What happens is either the guy looses it (starts giving in) or she becomes so wrapped up in the drama that she can't take it anymore (constant stimulation does lead to exhaustion). Now at this point the woman actually hates the guy because she can't get her way. The funny thing is that she can't leave him because she is so addicted to the excitement he provides her.
What happens at this stage. The woman responds something like this, "Why do you keep playing games with me. I want this relationship to work. I don't think you take me seriously. Why don't you love me . . . "
What has the guy effectively done. He has torn down the narcisstic image she once had. He has now become her source of pleasure; she needs him. Because of this need, the foucus now turns away from her onto him. Now she starts thinking these things:
"Maybe if I let him do things, he won't be so ready to leave me."
"He doesn't treat me like a princess, I wonder maybe I'm not a princess. Maybe he is better than me."
"Maybe if I was kinder and giving, he'll show more affection to me."
"I just want his attention. I want him to say he loves me."
At this point the woman desperately wants to be validated by a man who has worn her down (won the power struggle). For the first time in her life she is unsure of herself, of who she is and whether she is truly lovable (she wants to be loved by the guy who made her emotionally respond). The guy has effectively taken her away from the center of the universe and created a void. What the woman wants at this stage is for him to fill the void and make her feel she is worthy, lovable and respected.
Mr. Jerk at this point blows the whole thing (by not showing any respect and affection) and she eventually realizes is that he doesn't really care (is to into his own world) that she can't stand having the void not filled.
The right guy at this stage then starts to show affection, love, and true respect and he tells her that she has earned it. She starts feeling great because she has started to get something from someone she really wanted (woman do honestly wanted to be treated well and loved, we all do) and it did not come easy. He then goes ahead and fills the void, except this time she is not the center of the universe: he is. At this point she just wants to make him happy. Here the "nice" guy qualities do come in.
Only possibly at this stage, she will then begin to love you for who you are; she will go ahead and want to really see what her prize is made of. The fact of the matter, is that what is really inside does not count at all in getting a woman, nor making her fall in love with you.
It's sad but true. A woman can simply love you but not for who you are. This is very disturbing for me.
What do you guys think?