How to Make Meeting Women Easy

by Joseph Matthews

Question from a student:

Hello Joe,

I'm still a little confused on some of your openers. I'll use my intruder and say "hey guys," and give a time constraint, but after that I'll forget everything or mix up the lines.

What are some easy tricks to help me out?

I also have a problem with approaching, especially if someone says "go talk to her" or tries to force me to approach.

What do you at bars that have loud music?


My response:

Wow, three questions for the price of one. I must be feeling generous today. =)

Okay, I'll field these one at a time...

The first thing I want to say is:


If you're trying to memorize so much that you break out into cold-sweat performance anxiety when approaching, you're doing something WRONG.

Approaching should be kept as simple as possible.

If you have trouble, just work on memorizing 1 good opener that you use over and over again.

I have an opener that I always use, and it never fails me.

This way, I don't have to think about what to say to a girl. I just automatically know!

And if your brain freezes up, here's a great trick to keep things moving along easily...


Keep asking her questions until you find something you can talk to her about.

Just remember to have a good time doing it.

If you're uneasy, nervous, or uptight, its going to affect the girl you're talking to in a negative way.

So learn to control your anxiety!

The second part of your question has to do with peer pressure.

I'm all for people who help motivate you to approach women. But if they're pushing you to do something you don't feel you're ready for, that can be tough.


Because you run the risk of KILLING your confidence. That's why.

You must protect your confidence at all costs!

That's what will get you the women.

So take your time. Don't feel rushed to meet women.


Don't use this as an excuse NOT to approach.

If a buddy of yours is egging you on to approach a women, be sure to do so, but on YOUR terms.

Take your time. Think about what to say. Study her for a bit. Figure out the best way to approach.

Finally, when it comes to noisy bars and clubs, here's what I do.

I'll usually hang out in the quiet places of a club, like the patio area, or where people go to smoke. It's much easier to approach women there.

But, if you're in the club, you can do two things...

The first is to TALK LOUDER.

Be high energy, high volume, and use the same techniques I teach in The Art of Approaching. Works like a charm.

The second option is to go more physical.

Physically lead a woman into a quieter part of the bar or club and then talk to her there.

Some guys may call this the "caveman" approach, but it still works pretty good.

I'll usually say something like:

"Hey, come with me. I want to tell you something..."

Then I'll take her by the hand and lead her to a quieter spot.

Talk soon,

Joseph Matthews