by Carlos Xuma

There's a certain trait in a man than women are turned on by, but they could probably never name if they were asked. It speaks to the core of your confidence with women.

And it is called (drum roll) ... Authenticity.

Why is this one core trait so important?

Because it communicates just about everything about you and your character without your knowing it.

Authenticity is like the overall feel you get when you drive a BMW or other high-quality, high-class car. Everything about the auto just oozes quality and genuine value. The doors don't just clunk shut like most American cars. They latch with a kind of mechanical perfection.

The seats don't just serve as a cushioned chair, they feel firm and cradle you.

The engine doesn't just run - it PURRS with fierce, unspoken power. Step on the accelerator and you'll MOVE.

The metals feel more solid. The workmanship feels so much better.

And the thing of it is, you can't pinpoint it to any one single item or piece that leaps out as the "quality" element. It all just comes through in the overall nature of the machine. As if it were made from the ground up with this intent.

The same thing is true of a MAN when he takes on the traits and behaviors of an AUTHENTIC man.

He becomes more than the sum of his parts when he can give off the air and aura of a convincing man of confidence.

You cannot imitate authenticity. It's tough to fool someone into thinking you're authentic when you're not, and it's IMPOSSIBLE to fool them for very long. You just can't fake it.

Like the smell of real leather, or the radiance and warmth of real sunlight; there are qualities about it that are nearly impossible to fake, and even if you could, it would cost you far less in time and effort to get the real deal than it would to go through the effort of pretending.

Confidence is one of those qualities that has a feel to it, and women can tell the difference between the fake stuff (also known as Bravado) and the genuine. Your self-confident behavior comes from a source within you that is hard to imitate for too long. But the beauty of your confidence is that it can be CREATED by you just by actions.

You can actually generate the reality of self-confidence by assuming the behaviors and traits and then repeating them until they become part of your personality.

Isn't that incredible? There's nothing like that in the world! That's like saying that if you were to live in your house as if it were a castle (i.e., put on a suit of armor, stock it with hay and food supplies) it would BECOME a castle after a while. With a moat and turrets and all that.

Absurd, right? But this kind of change is real when it comes to your self-confidence.

You create it from nothing.

Every day that you get up from bed in the morning and start your day, you make a choice how you're going to handle it. You're either going to go out there as a supplicating wimp, a middle of the road "nice guy," or a self-confident MASTER OF HIS WORLD.

Every man gets out of bed equal to every other man. What separates him from the rest is WHAT HE THINKS.

It's your choice, every single day. No man in this world was given a special set of brain cells and affirmations that created his self-confidence. What happened was that through a healthy self-esteem or a brazen arrogance he took on the habits of a man that is self-confident. (I recommend you work on the former rather than becoming a dick by way of the latter.)

Every time he made a choice in that direction, his self-confidence rewarded him by INCREASING. His authenticity jumped up a notch with each dose because other people will reward your self-confidence by giving you theirs when you display that kind of powerful belief.

You have this same choice every day.

You can choose to hold back your confidence and charisma from the women around you. When you pass them on the street, you can turn your eyes away (the curse of the shy guy) and tell them immediately that you're not an Alpha dog.

You can choose to not go out and meet new people by avoiding those social situations where you'll have to act differently and take action on your desires. You can choose to stay home and wring your wanker instead of practice the skills that will benefit you a lifetime.

And each choice you make will either up your authenticity, or make it harder to sustain when you find yourself having to put it on as a show for women.

They'll smell this, and they won't reward you.

In fact, they'll leave faster than a crowd at a stampeding South American soccer game.

Remember: You'll NEVER change woman-kind. But you can change yourself to be successful.

Some guys will stomp their feet and declare, "Never! Then they will have won! I will be true to myself!"

Is being true to yourself getting up each day with the same tired and fearful attitude toward women?

Is it being true to yourself to deny yourself the companionship and sex you desire?

You're confusing principles with egotistical stubbornness. The only man who is truly worthwhile is the one who knows which of his useless traits are worth disposing of so that he can quicken himself to a better man. Don't sacrifice your essence, but don't hold on to your lies.

Don't make the mistake that has submerged so many men in a quicksand of their own self-delusion. You don't have to compromise your integrity to seduce women.

Authenticity is the real reflection of the true man. And when you're trying to compromise by using old, self-defeating patterns with women, you only serve to sabotage yourself.

Work to refine that authentic confidence in yourself. Work on your authentic charm. Work on your authentic sense of humor.

When you can embody these traits so that they become second nature, you'll attract many times more women than when you just sit behind a mask of confidence. Start to make it part of your core personality.

Yes, it may sound like I'm being contradictory here. On one hand I'm saying that you have to be authentic, but on the other I'm telling you the only way to be authentic is to start by faking it. This is the dilemma. But it's not as contradictory as you might think.

If you understand that being self-confident is more than just a trait you pull out of the bag on occasion, and that you must keep it up constantly, you'll invest enough of your belief in it that you will make it authentic. You'll flip a switch in your beliefs that will COMPLETELY change your game with women. Until you reach that investment level, you'll just be faking it.

When you want to seduce women, you have to find a part of yourself to show them that's authentic, or you won't get anywhere. And you can't afford to be authentically weak and scared.

BE authentic. Let her smell it coming off you in waves. Then watch the dramatic change that happens in your abilities and skills.

Switch your thinking over from just ACTING to BEING.

What we're talking about here is a new way of thinking.

Carlos Xuma