Disarming the Drag-Away Girl

by Dan Tolumbro

The arrogance is appalling. How could this happen to you? Why now?

You're with your friends at the club, and suddenly a total bombshell of a woman catches your eye. Maybe it's the silkiness of her hair, or her shimmering makeup, but you know she's the one for you ... for tonight, at least. With quiet courage, you begin your path towards her.

Oops... Nature calls. Better take a trip to the bathroom first...

5 unnecessary minutes later, you are back and ready to go. You walk up and ... well the bar's right there, might as well get another beer.

3 more even more unnecessary minutes later, you gulp down some of that liquid courage, tap her on the shoulder, and say "Hi."

For some reason, she opens right up. She's laughing at everything you say and the conversation is flowing effortlessly. You wish you had a recorder wired to you, because tonight you are clearly at your wittiest. She's even beginning to touch your chest when you say something she likes, and doesn't mind you putting your hand on her shoulder or side as you get to know her. All of a sudden, a third party suddenly enters your space.

"BECKY!!! We need to go dance!"


You didn't even see it coming. She didn't see it coming. Yet within seconds, she is off dancing to "Hips Don't Lie" as you stand there alone with your beer, wondering where your potential girlfriend went.

This is called the "drag-away girl." There's one in every girl's social circle. Her job is so important, that when she has the flu, or is out of town, all of her friends fall into the catastrophes of setting dates, getting make-outs, or having one night stands. How crucial her assignment is.

Ok, so it's not that formal, but in order to diffuse the drag-a-way girl's powers, you need to understand why she creates all this madness in the first place.

Women want sex. They love sex; probably more than we do. Left to their own devices, they'd probably be having sex all the time. Who wouldn't be tempted, with attractive people hitting on them left and right?

The problem is that there are social and personal ramifications for women who are promiscuous. They are called "sluts," and can feel "dirty," afterwards. Because of this, girlfriends vow to limit each others' sexual encounters as much as possible. In fact, women will often explicitly ask each other to cockblock for them and make sure they don't give their numbers out or go home with a guy. This is taken so far that when a girl does actually decide she wants to get laid, she'll have to go out of her way to tell her friends not to block, just so she can act how she normally would without societal restrictions.

Of course, there are other reasons why girls drag their friends away from potential suitors. One reason could be that she is simply jealous and hating on her friend for getting hit on all the time. If a girl is overweight or unattractive in general, this is probably the main reason.

How do we solve this? The solution is simple.

As soon as the friend comes, engage her and bring her into the conversation. This will bring her into the new world you two share, instead of snapping your lady back into the other world she shares with her girlfriend. The three of you will be talking about how cool your trip to Maui was, instead of their dinner plans on their big night out next week -- without you, of course. You need to stay prominent in your honey's universe, and for that moment, lower her friend from a focal point to just a guest in the vibe that you two share.

If you do this early enough, and hold a strong frame, her friend will notice that you two are getting along, and just might respect that. What will more likely happen, though, is that she'll still try to make an attempt to drag her friend away by saying "We're going to go dance," but it will be noticeably weaker.

She'll speak more softly, and her voice may quiver. Because her friend has a weaker frame than you, you will win. She just won't sound as cool as you, and will be turned down. Your girl will just reply "I'm good," and nod for her to go away. You may not even be able to tell that the drag-away girl has lost her confidence in her control of her friend, but it's there if you look for it.

Now sometimes you won't be able to the engage the friend before she tries to pull your object of interest away. She might just show up and say "We gotta go dance…now!" before you can even make eye contact with her. This situation is actually a lot easier than you would expect.

Pat the drag-a-way girl on the shoulder and say, "You're cool, you're cool," then turn to face your girl and resume conversation. The friend will be confused and will lose power as she stands there as you two talk. Whoever is standing on the edge, boxed out, looks less and less cool with each passing second.

She will try to reinitiate and move your lady away. Do the same thing again: pat her on the shoulder and quickly say, "You're cool, you're cool." Turn your body completely to face your girl again and resume conversation. It's as easy as shampooing your hair: Wash, rinse, repeat. You can do this over and over again until the friend just leaves; and believe me, she will leave.

In short, don't get too reactive when an obstacle like the drag-away girl crosses your path. Be friendly if you can; and if not, blow her out of the interaction. It's actually deceptively simple dealing with female cockblocks, once you get the hang of it. Above all, have a good time with it, and that girl will be yours.

Dan Tolumbro is a dating advice coach for men at Pickupmastery.com. At his site he provides free information on how to meet women in bars without fear and how to take it to the next level.